rynling: (Teh Bowz)
[personal profile] rynling
I had a strange experience recently, and it's making me feel weird.

There's a guy I recently blocked on Twitter and Tumblr for the normal reasons – he was bothering me and I wanted him to leave me alone. (I wrote about this a bit earlier.)

He sent me some emails in response, but I deleted them unread for, again, the normal reasons – he was bothering me and I didn't want to deal with him.

So then he starts leaving long comments on my fic on AO3.

I felt really attacked. They weren't mean comments, exactly, but...

...but they kind of were. There were a few things he said about my writing that could have been interpreted as positive if they had been coming from a friend but which felt extremely passive-aggressive when coming from someone whose goodwill I don't trust. Also, even if these comments had been entirely positive, it's still emotionally manipulative to try to use public compliments to demand the attention of someone who clearly doesn't want to interact with you.

Now here's the problem – there has always been anxiety at the back of my mind that I'm bothering people by leaving comments on their fic or reblogging their posts with commentary in the tags. It's one thing if I'm throwing love at a stranger, but things start to get awkward if a relationship forms and then becomes one sided. At what point does it become the more respectful and compassionate thing to do to just leave someone alone?

Anyway, I deleted the guy's comments on AO3 and sent him a very short email asking him to fuck off. Of course he sent several emails in response, which I deleted unread because I have no patience for what was undoubtedly sad puppy bullshit, but hopefully this will be the end of it.
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