Feb. 5th, 2017

rynling: (Cecil Palmer)
This week has mostly been about bad thoughts and crying. I'm taking things one day at a time, and if I could write a single sentence or spend ten minutes on a project then it was a good day. Baby steps, my dudes, baby steps. This is what I accomplished:

- I finished the third chapter of the Wind Waker book. I'm not entirely certain it's a good chapter. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's not. I will definitely need to put this mess through a lot more editing before I show it to anyone.

- I never heard back from Kill Screen about the Wind Waker essay I pitched to them, so I sent my editor a follow-up email. I hate doing this; it makes me feel like such a needy high school girlfriend. If I don't hear back from him by Tuesday morning, I'm going to send a pitch to I Need Diverse Games, which I think may actually be a better venue for this particular essay.

- A film festival where I gave a talk a few years ago suddenly decided that they needed a short summary to publish in some sort of retrospective publicity material for donors. I barely remember what I was thinking back then, but I somehow managed to put something together.

- I slapped some color on the third part of the Wind Waker Final Boss Battle comic. It's been a while since I posted the last one in the series, and I managed to accidentally delete the palette I used in the interim. I am aware that my "work" is garbage, but honestly I do not care even a little. I think my stupid jokes are funny, and that's all that matters.

- I commissioned Blizzarderful on Tumblr to draw me some grungy retrofuture Zelda. I have been a huge fan of her style ever since DeviantArt was a thing, and when she opened commissions I could feel my heart flying out of my chest with joy. I was able to jump on this opportunity because of good timing, but I also feel like this is a kind of carbon offsetting, where I compensate for my own awful emission of trash by facilitating actual beauty.

This week was hard, and I have a hunch next that week will be harder. The way I feel right now is sort of like the thirteenth hour of a sixteen-hour flight, where I'm sick to my stomach and everything hurts and life is meaningless and the suffering will never end. But nothing lasts forever, and I know that I will feel better if I can just make it through the next few days. You can do it! I believe in you! Remember to take care of yourself, and stay strong!!

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