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2019 Resolution #1
I want to be a better plant parent.
My problem isn't that my plants die. On the contrary, they're all flourishing. Some of them have gotten really big, and I just... *sweats nervously* ...Nobody prepared me for this and I don't know what to do about it?
That's what she said, I know, but listen. Most larger pots are meant to be placed outdoors, meaning that they have drainage holes that leak directly onto the ground. I live in a fifth-floor apartment with parquet floors, so finding appropriate containers to use to repot my plants is an issue. It's also an issue that I don't have anywhere to store gardening equipment and bags of potting soil.
And when I say that some of my plants "have gotten really big," what I mean is that they're giant fucking monsters. Like, I have three stalks of bamboo that I bought at the Murder Kroger on Ponce de Leon in Atlanta in the summer of 2005 that are now growing horizontally because they are taller than my ceiling. I have a pothos plant that I bought at the Methadone CVS on 40th and Pine in West Philadelphia in December 2011 that has gone on to colonize an entire wall of my living room.
I think I've arrived at a point where I need to talk with an expert. Do such people exist? Like, tree coaches? Green consultants? Houseplant whispers?
My problem isn't that my plants die. On the contrary, they're all flourishing. Some of them have gotten really big, and I just... *sweats nervously* ...Nobody prepared me for this and I don't know what to do about it?
That's what she said, I know, but listen. Most larger pots are meant to be placed outdoors, meaning that they have drainage holes that leak directly onto the ground. I live in a fifth-floor apartment with parquet floors, so finding appropriate containers to use to repot my plants is an issue. It's also an issue that I don't have anywhere to store gardening equipment and bags of potting soil.
And when I say that some of my plants "have gotten really big," what I mean is that they're giant fucking monsters. Like, I have three stalks of bamboo that I bought at the Murder Kroger on Ponce de Leon in Atlanta in the summer of 2005 that are now growing horizontally because they are taller than my ceiling. I have a pothos plant that I bought at the Methadone CVS on 40th and Pine in West Philadelphia in December 2011 that has gone on to colonize an entire wall of my living room.
I think I've arrived at a point where I need to talk with an expert. Do such people exist? Like, tree coaches? Green consultants? Houseplant whispers?
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