2019 Resolution #1

[rynling]

I want to be a better plant parent.

My problem isn't that my plants die. On the contrary, they're all flourishing. Some of them have gotten really big, and I just... *sweats nervously* ...Nobody prepared me for this and I don't know what to do about it?

That's what she said, I know, but listen. Most larger pots are meant to be placed outdoors, meaning that they have drainage holes that leak directly onto the ground. I live in a fifth-floor apartment with parquet floors, so finding appropriate containers to use to repot my plants is an issue. It's also an issue that I don't have anywhere to store gardening equipment and bags of potting soil.

And when I say that some of my plants "have gotten really big," what I mean is that they're giant fucking monsters. Like, I have three stalks of bamboo that I bought at the Murder Kroger on Ponce de Leon in Atlanta in the summer of 2005 that are now growing horizontally because they are taller than my ceiling. I have a pothos plant that I bought at the Methadone CVS on 40th and Pine in West Philadelphia in December 2011 that has gone on to colonize an entire wall of my living room.

I think I've arrived at a point where I need to talk with an expert. Do such people exist? Like, tree coaches? Green consultants? Houseplant whispers?

Comments

[runicmagitek]

I haven't dealt with either bamboo or pothos plants, but I do know root pruning in general is a thing. More or less taking the plant out of its pot and then trim its roots. As for big pots, I've definitely used those huge plastic tubs meant for paint at hardware stores for some indoor tree things. You can cut a hole in the bottom of them and like, have it sit on a wire rack type of thing with a plate/bowl under it to help drain it without making a mess. That's what I did in college, anyways. They at least sound healthy, though, if they're growing that much!

[rynling]

I do know root pruning in general is a thing

I did not! This is really helpful.

I think I may end up having to get creative with potting solutions. What you suggested has inspired me, like, I'm already starting to plan out Ikea mods that would accommodate racks and drainage plates. Thank you!

[runicmagitek]

Yay I helped! :D Let me know how your Ikea mods go with your plants! I love that kind of thing. I'm also a nerd about gardening in general. Can't wait for winter to be done so I can play in dirt.

[renegadefolkhero]

You would generally get in-person advice at a nursery (not a garden center like Lowe's, a dedicated nursery), but they will primarily advise you on plants they sell. For houseplants you can get a lot of advice online. A popular forum is garden.org, any time I google advice I invariably find an answer on one of their forum threads. But for me personally houseplants have been trial and error... mostly error... sorry babies u were too good for this world.

https://garden.org/forums/view/houseplants/