rynling: (Cecil Harvey)
[personal profile] rynling
I want to be a better plant parent.

My problem isn't that my plants die. On the contrary, they're all flourishing. Some of them have gotten really big, and I just... *sweats nervously* ...Nobody prepared me for this and I don't know what to do about it?

That's what she said, I know, but listen. Most larger pots are meant to be placed outdoors, meaning that they have drainage holes that leak directly onto the ground. I live in a fifth-floor apartment with parquet floors, so finding appropriate containers to use to repot my plants is an issue. It's also an issue that I don't have anywhere to store gardening equipment and bags of potting soil.

And when I say that some of my plants "have gotten really big," what I mean is that they're giant fucking monsters. Like, I have three stalks of bamboo that I bought at the Murder Kroger on Ponce de Leon in Atlanta in the summer of 2005 that are now growing horizontally because they are taller than my ceiling. I have a pothos plant that I bought at the Methadone CVS on 40th and Pine in West Philadelphia in December 2011 that has gone on to colonize an entire wall of my living room.

I think I've arrived at a point where I need to talk with an expert. Do such people exist? Like, tree coaches? Green consultants? Houseplant whispers?
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