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Entry tags:
Online Boundaries
Sometimes I talk about shitty men, but I today I want to talk about a man I admire.
Last weekend, someone started leaving long (and I mean long) comments on every chapter of Malice, which is a supremely self-indulgent Breath of the Wild Modern AU novelfic about magical monster-man Ganondorf showing up naked one morning in Zelda’s apartment that I’ve been writing with no research or planning or really any thought at all. The comments were rambling essays on home invasion and gun control laws and so on, and they didn’t have much of anything to do with the story save for how it wasn’t how he would have written it, so he rewrote parts of it in the comments.
I deleted these comments as they appeared, but they came one after the other, and the guy edited each of them at least a dozen times. If I had to guess, I would say that this behavior may have been the product of a genuine manic episode. This is concerning, but it’s not something that I, a random stranger on the internet, am prepared for or equipped to handle.
I finally replied, saying that these comments were unwelcome and a bit creepy, and that he needed to stop. I also asked him not to reply or try to contact me, and that I would report his account for harassment if he did.
And that was it. No more comments. No nasty messages on Twitter or Tumblr. End of story.
I’m not saying I wanted any of this to happen, but I do sincerely appreciate a dude who respects boundaries. Pushing back the keyboard and stepping away from the computer was actually very cool and cash money of him, and I'm going to remember this the next time I start to get a little too emotionally invested in what's happening on the internet.
Last weekend, someone started leaving long (and I mean long) comments on every chapter of Malice, which is a supremely self-indulgent Breath of the Wild Modern AU novelfic about magical monster-man Ganondorf showing up naked one morning in Zelda’s apartment that I’ve been writing with no research or planning or really any thought at all. The comments were rambling essays on home invasion and gun control laws and so on, and they didn’t have much of anything to do with the story save for how it wasn’t how he would have written it, so he rewrote parts of it in the comments.
I deleted these comments as they appeared, but they came one after the other, and the guy edited each of them at least a dozen times. If I had to guess, I would say that this behavior may have been the product of a genuine manic episode. This is concerning, but it’s not something that I, a random stranger on the internet, am prepared for or equipped to handle.
I finally replied, saying that these comments were unwelcome and a bit creepy, and that he needed to stop. I also asked him not to reply or try to contact me, and that I would report his account for harassment if he did.
And that was it. No more comments. No nasty messages on Twitter or Tumblr. End of story.
I’m not saying I wanted any of this to happen, but I do sincerely appreciate a dude who respects boundaries. Pushing back the keyboard and stepping away from the computer was actually very cool and cash money of him, and I'm going to remember this the next time I start to get a little too emotionally invested in what's happening on the internet.
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As someone who used to post unhinged, manic-induced commentary on the internet circa middle school/high school, holy crap yeah, that really sounds like what's going on here, even down to the constant editing. That's rough, but you're completely right in that it's not your responsibility to handle or even engage with that. And also good on this guy for backing off. Cash money, indeed!
This also reminds me of the pseudo-discourse on Tumblr over whether or not to block others who post things that upset you. Yes. Yes you should. If you don't want invasive shrubs or weeds growing in your garden, rip that shit out 💕
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