Re: Closing Market Street

[rynling]

None of this is true, by the way. It's just a story I made up to amuse myself.

I wish there were a name for this genre of fiction. Like, a story that's almost true, and maybe it could be true in a parallel universe. Something that's based on real facts in the real world but just isn't true. Not "fake news," because you're just doing it for fun with the understanding that it's fiction. But not "speculative fiction" either, because the only fantasy element is that it's not actually true. Or maybe it's not even really "fiction," because there are no characters. So like, an alternate reality lecture? Idk idk.

Market Street really is a hellstreet, though. It's one of the many streets in Philadelphia that's like an expressway (with potholes) but runs through areas with a high density of pedestrians, and there really are a shocking number of pedestrian fatalities on these streets. (That number is "more than zero," by the way.) It goes without saying that majority-Black communities suffer disproportionately, although a lot of kids on bikes really do get hit around campus.

There's always a ton of pedestrian traffic everywhere in Philadelphia at all hours of the day, and there's been a growing movement to permanently close certain streets. A bunch of streets in Old City and Center City got blocked off during the pandemic so that restaurants could have outdoor seating, and now the restaurants apparently aren't giving that space back. It would be nice if UPenn and Drexel could similarly join forces to do something about Market Street, but alas. This is just a story I made up.

Comments

[drmarcus]

Hrm, I totally believed every word of it, which gives me flashbacks to when you were my TA in Intro to Chinese Civilization and told us a myth about how pandas came to be that was really touching, and I was stunned when you later told me you'd made it up. See, this is one of the proofs you're a brilliant writer. You can make shit up that sounds perfectly true, and it's so interesting that one doesn't even mind finding out that it isn't.

(Btw, your description of the UPenn "hospital" was spot on. I worked in a lab in one of the hospital highrises for most of my time as an undergrad--back when it was still Penn Med before the Perelmans had showered it with even more money--and it felt both neat and kind of terrifying to be part of that ecosystem)

[rynling]

it felt both neat and kind of terrifying to be part of that ecosystem

"Ecosystem" is a good word to describe it. The next time we see each other, I'll tell you about the time I spent more than two hours getting lost while looking for the hospital McDonald's, not realizing that it was right at street level by the museum. There are all these lovely little courtyards and atriums and giant open reception areas in the hospital, and I felt exactly like I was wandering around some sort of castle in a video game. I can't even imagine what it was like to work there, but that's so fucking cool that you did.

(UPenn recently closed that McDonald's btw, and they just bought the Murder McDonald's on 40th Street. Here's a link to a Reddit post about it because the comments are golden, so to speak.)

Also, the size of the hospital has almost doubled since 2017. I'm always amused by the students who don't know it's there, even though they must see it every day. I guess it really is so massive that it's difficult to process on a human scale. 🙃

[drmarcus]

Aw, I had good memories of trekking over to the McDonald's at the hospital late in the evening while studying at Van Pelt! The Murder McDonald's on the other hand... don't think I ever dared enter it (Philly Diner I braved many times though. God I miss American diners). That's sort of hilarious that Penn bought it. Do you have any idea about what they plan to do with it?

Do tell me about your Penn Med dungeon adventure next time I see you! You should come to toParis sometime (you're always welcome to stay at my place! It's smallish but central, and there's a cat). You may have already visited all the great museums and eaten all the famous macarons, BUT you can now experience the "McBaguette" ("le burger à la française") recently introduced at French McDo's.

[lassarina]

....oh :( Well, that makes me sad (and also look like a dingus because of the order in which I read tabs.)

Chicago closed a bunch of streets for outdoor seating during the pandemic too, and is now actually working on making those changes more permanent/more greenspace. Of course on the other hand they also fucking closed a gorgeous 100-year-old conservatory that was free to the public so some techbro could charge $40 for VR, so they're not doing that well, considering.

[rynling]

Chicago closed a bunch of streets for outdoor seating during the pandemic too, and is now actually working on making those changes more permanent/more greenspace.

GOOD LUCK TO CHICAGO!! I fucking love Chicago, and I hope they're successful. I would love to see more trees in the city.

Thank you for reading my garbage posts in whatever order. Being evil is something my school is known for. If somebody told me they bought a block with an animal shelter and started killing puppies so that they could close it, I would believe them.

Honestly, for all we know, they're probably killing puppies right now.

There's that famous bit in Clerks about being a contractor on the Death Star, and about how maybe it's not so bad if they offer health insurance. And I'm just saying, I get that.

[lassarina]

*nods nods* I feel you. Sometimes you just gotta take what there is.

I'm really hype for there being more pedestrian space/less car space. I mean, traffic in the city is godawful and we need more money put into transit (the perennial problem), but at least we're trying. It's nice watching the city build more bike lanes, etc.