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Notes on Being an Ancient Eldritch Being on Social Media
> I have weird feelings about all of this, but they’re not worth discussing.
Maybe they are worth discussing a little.
First of all, the horror movie zine is way too expensive, especially considering that it has so few followers on social media. I'm worried that, like the Halloween zine, the project won't go to print. It's an interesting collection of work, but I think it probably needs to be digital and free. A lot of the zine projects I've contributed to recently haven't done as well as they could have, and I can't help but wonder if it's somehow... Not my fault, of course, but maybe they would have done better if they weren't associated with me. Like, it's embarrassing for them to have taken on someone like me - meaning, an adult who goes by their professional on social media - as a writer.
Second, the artwork I posted this week got almost no notes on social media. That's not why I created it, of course, but still. In my own eyes, these two pieces are some of the best I've ever created, which makes me wonder what's going on. Am I being pushed to the bottom of people's feeds because I don't spend enough time on social media, or have people gone out of their way to mute me? Do people see my work and respectfully pretend that they don't because of the secondhand embarrassment? Oh lord, I think it's finally happened. I have gone full cringe.
Third, speaking of being cringe, it's cringe as fuck to admit in public that you're writing a YA genre novel. And then to promote it with your own handmade graphics, which get no notes. The shame is real. If I had to guess, I would say that this is probably why people mute me lmao.
Anyway, this isn't a cry for help or attention. Instead, I want to lay the groundwork for a broader point: I think there's a lot of shame about being an "older" creator who's starting from scratch in their thirties. This is especially the case for someone like me, who is creating "young" work (like genre fiction and comic art) but has no interest in trying to pass as a young person on social media. This shame isn't merely internal; it also affects how people perceive you and react to you in real life.
Which is wild, because expecting creative people to achieve success within the current social media hellscape no later than age 25 is some bizarre YA sci-fi dystopia brainrot. And, as always, I blame capitalism. I understand why the system wants to promote young and previously unpublished people too inexperienced to know how to ask for higher royalty percentages and signing bonuses, but I think it should go without saying that work made by people who aren't fresh out of university also has value.
Personally speaking, I have nothing but love and respect for "older" writers and artists who have a second-act character development or career change.
Maybe they are worth discussing a little.
First of all, the horror movie zine is way too expensive, especially considering that it has so few followers on social media. I'm worried that, like the Halloween zine, the project won't go to print. It's an interesting collection of work, but I think it probably needs to be digital and free. A lot of the zine projects I've contributed to recently haven't done as well as they could have, and I can't help but wonder if it's somehow... Not my fault, of course, but maybe they would have done better if they weren't associated with me. Like, it's embarrassing for them to have taken on someone like me - meaning, an adult who goes by their professional on social media - as a writer.
Second, the artwork I posted this week got almost no notes on social media. That's not why I created it, of course, but still. In my own eyes, these two pieces are some of the best I've ever created, which makes me wonder what's going on. Am I being pushed to the bottom of people's feeds because I don't spend enough time on social media, or have people gone out of their way to mute me? Do people see my work and respectfully pretend that they don't because of the secondhand embarrassment? Oh lord, I think it's finally happened. I have gone full cringe.
Third, speaking of being cringe, it's cringe as fuck to admit in public that you're writing a YA genre novel. And then to promote it with your own handmade graphics, which get no notes. The shame is real. If I had to guess, I would say that this is probably why people mute me lmao.
Anyway, this isn't a cry for help or attention. Instead, I want to lay the groundwork for a broader point: I think there's a lot of shame about being an "older" creator who's starting from scratch in their thirties. This is especially the case for someone like me, who is creating "young" work (like genre fiction and comic art) but has no interest in trying to pass as a young person on social media. This shame isn't merely internal; it also affects how people perceive you and react to you in real life.
Which is wild, because expecting creative people to achieve success within the current social media hellscape no later than age 25 is some bizarre YA sci-fi dystopia brainrot. And, as always, I blame capitalism. I understand why the system wants to promote young and previously unpublished people too inexperienced to know how to ask for higher royalty percentages and signing bonuses, but I think it should go without saying that work made by people who aren't fresh out of university also has value.
Personally speaking, I have nothing but love and respect for "older" writers and artists who have a second-act character development or career change.