The Tragic Lost Emo Children of 2017

[rynling]

People kept telling me to play Nier Automata, so when the new edition – sorry, NieR:Automata™ Game of the YoRHa Edition – came out I finally quit trying to figure out the Great Shitty Crystal of Giruvegan without a walkthrough and turned off Final Fantasy XII. Games that trap you in long repetitive dungeons with no save points are THE WORST and NO FUN AT ALL; and, as much as I hated that shit back when I was playing Final Fantasy IV on the Super Nintendo, I hate it even more now. (See also: why I quit playing I Am Setsuna.) I might come back to Final Fantasy XII when it comes out on the Switch, but for now I’m done.

I was told to go into Nier Automata without knowing anything or trying to look up spoilers, so here I am. I played for about an hour last night, and so far I’m unimpressed and very, very bored.

The player-character is a sixteen-year-old robot who dresses like it’s Lolita night at the Goth club, and she’s all “emotions are prohibited” because she’s an edgelord. Or edgelady, as she has a boob window and shiny exposed upper thighs (because the game really wants me to want to fuck this sixteen-year-old robot I guess). Despite being named after a pencil, she thinks sixteen-year-old edgelady thoughts like “when do I get to kill the god who created a world where we have to die,” and the lore contained in the menu screen weapon data is excerpted from the same emo LiveJournal.

Goth robot pencil girl has two companions: A sweet boy robot mapmaker who probably has some dark secret or something, and a floating robot murder friend. Sweet robot boy mapmaker (also named after a pencil) is growing on me, but I’m really here for the floating robot murder friend, who is a very cute and helpful little one.

Anyway, the game starts you off in 2D bullet hell, which is probably my second least favorite game genre. You then progress to 3D bullet hell, which is my absolute least favorite game genre. While firing bullets back at enemies by means of your floating robot murder friend, you also have to control Goth robot pencil girl and the game’s camera all at the same time. I am notoriously bad at games, but this literally hurt my hands, and the constant flashing lights and explosions and camera jerks gave me a headache.

This would be fine if it were just an opening sequence, but this series of bullet hell battles leads directly to a long repetitive dungeon with no save points.

I am getting real tired of Square Enix’s shit tbh.

I will keep playing, but only because of peer pressure. Also, I hear that eventually you can talk to the robot enemy characters, which I am very much looking forward to because they are adorable.

Comments

[auronlu]

For what it's worth, I wrecked my hands creating this map of/guide to Giruvegan, if you ever venture back into FFXII. If it's not clear on the map, my notation shows the uphill end of each ramp as wide, the downhill end as narrow.

[lassarina]

I keep thinkign about playing Automata because it's going to be the new raid sequence in FFXIV, but then again.....things like this.

[runicmagitek]

So like... on one hand, I'm eyerolling at yet another game with less than practical attire for the female combatant (who is also a damn teenager just why), because come on now, do we have to do this? They don't even wear stilettos. It's worse than that - they are actually grafted into their heels that's just how their feet are designed dear god why

On the other hand, it fits very neatly in Japan's long history of narratives and art depicting child soldiers in post-apocalyptic world. Bonus points if said child soldiers are cute. I'm sure I have a 20 page essay somewhere in my college thumb drives talking about the importance of making these characters "cute" in these situations throughout post-WWII art in Japan, because reasons.

On the other hand, I'm just thrilled I get to be a hot, goth badass who fucking does flips and shits to use her weapons and demolishes wave after wave of enemies without breaking so much as a sweat. Like damn #lifegoals

NieR: Automata is definitely a lot of layers to dissect and I get sad when people look at it and dismiss it as Fanservice: The Game. Which yes, I totally understand that being frustrating (it frustrates me, too), but it addresses some pretty heavy topics. Not perfectly in some sections, but it still does it. That said, hack-n-slash games are one of my go-to types of games when I want to relax. I grew up playing Dynasty Warriors and Devil May Cry after a stressful day at school and there's something cathartic about... murdering hundreds of things and looking cool while doing it. I personally loved the mechanics in NieR: Automata, but I also have a handful of friends who aren't as into that kind of game play as I am and were super frustrated. Especially the opening part, because there's no save point until after you beat the boss of that area, so if you die... you just need to start over. Which makes sense in context of the game, but still sucks :\

I hope you find some joy from it! I'm curious to hear about your thoughts on it as you progress :D