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rynlingI watched one season. And now I'm done, right? I think that was my resolution, right?
I therefore resolve, in the new year, to watch one current tv series from its first season to its most recent.
Okay, fuck. Maybe I'll take a month-long break, then.
The production quality of the show is fantastic, but...
(1) It's almost completely humorless. The three crime scene investigators are the sole exceptions, and they never appear for more than three or four minutes in any given episode. Of the three, Beverly Katz has a bit more screen time in the early episodes, but then the show decides that those extra two minutes of someone not being ALL SERIOUS ALL THE TIME are two minutes too many.
(1.5) Actually, now that I think about it, the special effects are pretty funny. The totem pole of human corpses on the beach is especially hilarious, and I don't use that word lightly. It's also cool when Hannibal has one of his dinner guests eat human flesh. Maybe those things are not supposed to be funny, though?
(2) It's kind of stupid. Will Graham is supposed to be a super-genius, but then he's hallucinating and having blackouts, so instead of taking a few days off work to go to the fucking doctor he's like, Naw just give me a gun I'll be fine. Sure, Hannibal messes with his diagnosis, but honestly, if you're seeing hallucinations, you probably need to get a second opinion! It's like, Dude! You work for the government; you have good insurance! Or at least hit up one of your many doctor friends for advice! Or check WebMD? Will is supposed to be socially awkward and live in a cabin in the woods or some shit, but presumably he has internet access on his phone. I also don't get why none of the Very Smart People in the show suspect Hannibal. He has freakishly specific medical knowledge, he has insider information about every single murder, and he was at the scene of every single crime. And all of his patients end up flipping out and attempting murder! But there is nothing suspicious about him because, I don't know, he has an accent? Why does no one in this show think or behave like a normal person? I can suspend disbelief for a two-hour movie, but it's harder to maintain this suspension over the course of thirteen fifty-minute television episodes.
(3) I don't think the show's writers or producers have ever been to the East Coast. Will Graham is supposed to live in Wolf Trap, an unincorporated satellite community of Vienna, Virginia, which is on the north side of Fairfax County, which is famously the single wealthiest and most developed county in the United States. (It's where I work, but I can't afford to live there.) There are golf courses and Super Target parking lots in Vienna, but not huge open fields with little cabins. Hannibal lives in Baltimore, which is a two-hour drive north of Fairfax County if there are no traffic conditions, road construction, or weather-related complications, which never happens. Since there's no public transportation between Fairfax and Baltimore, Will would have to get on I-66, the second worst highway in the United States, and then get on I-495, the absolute worst highway in the United States. During the afternoon and early evening, it can take more than four hours to drive from Fairfax to Baltimore, and then you have to deal with shitty Baltimore traffic and road conditions (the city is broke and doesn't maintain its infrastructure, true story). In other words, Will can't just jump up and go to Baltimore to visit Hannibal whenever he wants to, and it makes zero fucking sense for him to do so. And then, in the last episode of the first season, Will and Hannibal drive from Baltimore to Minnesota in one night? That shit takes at least twenty consecutive hours, and that's if you're peeing into the seat of your car.
In conclusion, this show looks pretty but takes itself way too seriously and doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Gillian Anderson should maybe take a rain check on producing Hannibal and go work on Ghostbusters instead.
I therefore resolve, in the new year, to watch one current tv series from its first season to its most recent.
Okay, fuck. Maybe I'll take a month-long break, then.
The production quality of the show is fantastic, but...
(1) It's almost completely humorless. The three crime scene investigators are the sole exceptions, and they never appear for more than three or four minutes in any given episode. Of the three, Beverly Katz has a bit more screen time in the early episodes, but then the show decides that those extra two minutes of someone not being ALL SERIOUS ALL THE TIME are two minutes too many.
(1.5) Actually, now that I think about it, the special effects are pretty funny. The totem pole of human corpses on the beach is especially hilarious, and I don't use that word lightly. It's also cool when Hannibal has one of his dinner guests eat human flesh. Maybe those things are not supposed to be funny, though?
(2) It's kind of stupid. Will Graham is supposed to be a super-genius, but then he's hallucinating and having blackouts, so instead of taking a few days off work to go to the fucking doctor he's like, Naw just give me a gun I'll be fine. Sure, Hannibal messes with his diagnosis, but honestly, if you're seeing hallucinations, you probably need to get a second opinion! It's like, Dude! You work for the government; you have good insurance! Or at least hit up one of your many doctor friends for advice! Or check WebMD? Will is supposed to be socially awkward and live in a cabin in the woods or some shit, but presumably he has internet access on his phone. I also don't get why none of the Very Smart People in the show suspect Hannibal. He has freakishly specific medical knowledge, he has insider information about every single murder, and he was at the scene of every single crime. And all of his patients end up flipping out and attempting murder! But there is nothing suspicious about him because, I don't know, he has an accent? Why does no one in this show think or behave like a normal person? I can suspend disbelief for a two-hour movie, but it's harder to maintain this suspension over the course of thirteen fifty-minute television episodes.
(3) I don't think the show's writers or producers have ever been to the East Coast. Will Graham is supposed to live in Wolf Trap, an unincorporated satellite community of Vienna, Virginia, which is on the north side of Fairfax County, which is famously the single wealthiest and most developed county in the United States. (It's where I work, but I can't afford to live there.) There are golf courses and Super Target parking lots in Vienna, but not huge open fields with little cabins. Hannibal lives in Baltimore, which is a two-hour drive north of Fairfax County if there are no traffic conditions, road construction, or weather-related complications, which never happens. Since there's no public transportation between Fairfax and Baltimore, Will would have to get on I-66, the second worst highway in the United States, and then get on I-495, the absolute worst highway in the United States. During the afternoon and early evening, it can take more than four hours to drive from Fairfax to Baltimore, and then you have to deal with shitty Baltimore traffic and road conditions (the city is broke and doesn't maintain its infrastructure, true story). In other words, Will can't just jump up and go to Baltimore to visit Hannibal whenever he wants to, and it makes zero fucking sense for him to do so. And then, in the last episode of the first season, Will and Hannibal drive from Baltimore to Minnesota in one night? That shit takes at least twenty consecutive hours, and that's if you're peeing into the seat of your car.
In conclusion, this show looks pretty but takes itself way too seriously and doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Gillian Anderson should maybe take a rain check on producing Hannibal and go work on Ghostbusters instead.
