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Chronicles of a Fake Geek Girl
May. 2nd, 2016 11:15 amOver the weekend I submitted two essays to one of my favorite gaming websites. I had pitched them in advance, and the editor responded positively.
Both started as responses to something someone said on Tumblr, but I decided that the research and effort I put into both pieces, as well as their broader relevance to gaming cultures, outweighs the limited attention that either of them would find within my tiny circles.
I've written professionally about games before, but never for an actual gaming website. I experienced a high level of anxiety concerning my submissions, especially since both ideas originated in fandom. To me, there's a clear disconnect between my fannish voice and the discursive space of online journalism, and I feel a strange sort of guilt for blurring the line, as if I'm somehow betraying fandom by having taken advantage of it as a source of professional inspiration. Then again, I myself feel betrayed by fandom, which has largely failed to reciprocate the investment of time and emotional energy I've put into it.
Of course none of this really matters, as there's no guarantee that either article will run on this particular site. Also, I sincerely doubt anyone is paying any sort of attention to what I do or say, so I should probably just get over myself.
Both started as responses to something someone said on Tumblr, but I decided that the research and effort I put into both pieces, as well as their broader relevance to gaming cultures, outweighs the limited attention that either of them would find within my tiny circles.
I've written professionally about games before, but never for an actual gaming website. I experienced a high level of anxiety concerning my submissions, especially since both ideas originated in fandom. To me, there's a clear disconnect between my fannish voice and the discursive space of online journalism, and I feel a strange sort of guilt for blurring the line, as if I'm somehow betraying fandom by having taken advantage of it as a source of professional inspiration. Then again, I myself feel betrayed by fandom, which has largely failed to reciprocate the investment of time and emotional energy I've put into it.
Of course none of this really matters, as there's no guarantee that either article will run on this particular site. Also, I sincerely doubt anyone is paying any sort of attention to what I do or say, so I should probably just get over myself.
