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Shake It Out
Aug. 21st, 2016 11:16 amTwo days ago I made a resolution that I would write three hundred words a day and put out four chapters of "The Legend of the Princess" a month. This is absolutely doable, but I'm not sure it's actually worth it to me. My argument was something along the lines of "I am depressed about my writing, but I will still work hard." I think a more reasonable way of approaching the situation is "I will work hard, but I am still depressed about my writing."
I think it's fair to acknowledge how shitty I feel because of my continued exposure to an environment that has grown toxic. Since there isn't a lot of fuel for my writing in terms of either direct reception or broader activity within the Zelda fandom on Tumblr, I need to stop expending energy there. In concrete terms, I need to stay off the fandom tags.
To be kind to myself, putting out a chapter every other Sunday is decent progress. If I can maintain that progress, so much the better. If I only put out one chapter a month, that's also good progress. If I drop the story entirely and come back to it a year and a half later with a different perspective and a renewed sense of purpose (which is what I did with "A Game of Castles"), that might actually end up being awesome.
The most important thing for me to do at this point is to dedicate a specific space for fiction writing in order to renew the sense of "exhilarating freedom" that got me into this mess in the first place. Since I already tend to take off from work early on Wednesdays and Fridays, I think it might be good to dedicate those afternoons to leaving my cell phone in my apartment, sitting at a neighborhood café, having a beer, opening my laptop, and just seeing what happens. If I manage to type a few sentences on other days, that's cool, but no pressure.
I think it's fair to acknowledge how shitty I feel because of my continued exposure to an environment that has grown toxic. Since there isn't a lot of fuel for my writing in terms of either direct reception or broader activity within the Zelda fandom on Tumblr, I need to stop expending energy there. In concrete terms, I need to stay off the fandom tags.
To be kind to myself, putting out a chapter every other Sunday is decent progress. If I can maintain that progress, so much the better. If I only put out one chapter a month, that's also good progress. If I drop the story entirely and come back to it a year and a half later with a different perspective and a renewed sense of purpose (which is what I did with "A Game of Castles"), that might actually end up being awesome.
The most important thing for me to do at this point is to dedicate a specific space for fiction writing in order to renew the sense of "exhilarating freedom" that got me into this mess in the first place. Since I already tend to take off from work early on Wednesdays and Fridays, I think it might be good to dedicate those afternoons to leaving my cell phone in my apartment, sitting at a neighborhood café, having a beer, opening my laptop, and just seeing what happens. If I manage to type a few sentences on other days, that's cool, but no pressure.
