Davy Jones and Jack Sparrow interrupt their Sex Parley for a brief educational discussion

Why do relationship discussions and sex negotiations in fanfiction often look so fake and unnatural? Sometimes they can be interesting to read about but not when 18th century pirates and medieval Chinese warriors speak like they’re quoting some 21st century safe sex pamphlet or a PsychologyToday article.

https://dracfics.tumblr.com/post/182942644738/why-do-relationship-discussions-and-sex

Here is a true thing that happened: I once wrote a few sexy Legend of Zelda jokefics, one of which includes, I shit you not, the line "Shock me with your Deku Nuts!" One of the stories (such as they were) was about how Ganondorf forces himself on Zelda for all of two paragraphs before she gets mad at him for saying something stupid, thus revealing that it was all a sex game. In a short fic collection full of pure crack and godawful puns, the comments people felt compelled to leave were, inexplicably, attempts to educate me about safewords.

Why.

Frens

Doggy massages and canine quiche: A reporter unleashed among Japan’s pampered pooches
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/doggy-massages-and-canine-cheesecake-a-reporter-unleashed-among-japans-pampered-pooches/2019/02/16/c5815ae0-19c4-11e9-b8e6-567190c2fd08_story.html

At a fashion show during Yokohama’s Pet Expo 2019 last month, owners paraded their pets in an array of human clothes. There was a dog in green camouflage matching its owners’, and another in a knitted hat and cardigan; there were spaniels in black jackets and jeans, dogs looking cool in leather jackets and sunglasses, and even four canines in scout uniforms. On the final day, 45-year-old Nobuyuki Masuyama won a prize with his dog Rei, a dwarf spitz-Chihuahua crossbreed dressed in a yellow coat and jeans, shoes and socks, and, like his owner, a prominent pair of glasses. A single man, Masuyama calls his dog a member of his family and admits he has an “uncountable” number of outfits for him to wear. 

The text of this article isn't particularly interesting, but it's worth it for the video and the pictures. My favorite is the picture at the end where a woman is posing with her beautiful pet pig. #liveyourbestlife #goals