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But What If I Quit
Jun. 1st, 2019 01:25 pmThis morning I submitted my file for tenure. The American university tenure system is difficult to explain, but what this essentially means is that I put myself up for promotion. If I get promoted, nothing much happens, but I get to keep my job. If I don’t get promoted, I lose my job and my career is more or less finished, meaning that the past ten years of my life will have been wasted. This seems like it would be a lot of pressure, but it’s really not. My tenure file is solid, for one thing, and academic job searches are so hellish and demanding that I don’t think anyone would fire me simply because of the soul-draining annoyance of having to go through the ordeal of hiring someone else. I’m also not the sort of person who makes enemies, so I don’t think anyone in my university or professional field is, like, out to sabotage me or anything. If everything works the way it’s supposed to – and there’s no reason it shouldn’t – I’ll be fine.
But I don’t think I’m happy. The amount of work I’m doing isn’t sustainable, and I can’t really afford to continue living in Washington DC. This is usually the point at which people in academia go back on the job market, but the academic job market is… You know what, let’s just say it’s “dystopian” and leave it at that. So what if, instead of trying to negotiate a new contract, I just quit?
The first thing I would do would be to move to Philadelphia.
The second thing I would do would be to launch a Patreon and open commissions.
The third thing I would do would be to start self-publishing on Amazon. I've been reading a lot about how this works, and it's making more and more sense to me, especially now that I can easily say that some of my favorite books written during the past several years have been self-published on Amazon.
The fourth thing I would do would be to get in touch with my publishing contacts and start taking on translation work. The pay isn’t great, but the demand for people at my level is high.
The fifth thing I would do would be to have friends again. When I think about how I actually used to have real-life friends four years ago, I cry kind of a lot, which is happening more and more these days.
I’m not saying this would be easy, and I’m not saying it would be comfortable, but I do think it might be worth it in the long run. I used to be so idealistic and optimistic about higher education, but I’m not so sure anymore. I’m actually starting to be convinced that this entire system is grossly unethical, not just in an abstract and theoretical sense but also in terms of specific instances of systematic injustice that I have seen with my own eyes and been powerless to do anything about.
And let’s be real, I’m not someone who claims that they’re A Writer™ but doesn’t actually write anything. In addition to the book and dozens of articles I’ve published professionally, I also managed to write (and edit!) two novels and more than fifty short stories during the past four years. Seriously, here's a link to my account on AO3. I might not be the brightest witch of my generation, but I’m doing okay.
And you know what? There’s no reason I couldn’t be doing better.
But I don’t think I’m happy. The amount of work I’m doing isn’t sustainable, and I can’t really afford to continue living in Washington DC. This is usually the point at which people in academia go back on the job market, but the academic job market is… You know what, let’s just say it’s “dystopian” and leave it at that. So what if, instead of trying to negotiate a new contract, I just quit?
The first thing I would do would be to move to Philadelphia.
The second thing I would do would be to launch a Patreon and open commissions.
The third thing I would do would be to start self-publishing on Amazon. I've been reading a lot about how this works, and it's making more and more sense to me, especially now that I can easily say that some of my favorite books written during the past several years have been self-published on Amazon.
The fourth thing I would do would be to get in touch with my publishing contacts and start taking on translation work. The pay isn’t great, but the demand for people at my level is high.
The fifth thing I would do would be to have friends again. When I think about how I actually used to have real-life friends four years ago, I cry kind of a lot, which is happening more and more these days.
I’m not saying this would be easy, and I’m not saying it would be comfortable, but I do think it might be worth it in the long run. I used to be so idealistic and optimistic about higher education, but I’m not so sure anymore. I’m actually starting to be convinced that this entire system is grossly unethical, not just in an abstract and theoretical sense but also in terms of specific instances of systematic injustice that I have seen with my own eyes and been powerless to do anything about.
And let’s be real, I’m not someone who claims that they’re A Writer™ but doesn’t actually write anything. In addition to the book and dozens of articles I’ve published professionally, I also managed to write (and edit!) two novels and more than fifty short stories during the past four years. Seriously, here's a link to my account on AO3. I might not be the brightest witch of my generation, but I’m doing okay.
And you know what? There’s no reason I couldn’t be doing better.
