Social Media Self-Care

During the past few days, I deleted about four hundred posts on Tumblr:

Posts where I reblogged people’s stories, meta, and art with supportive comments and tags, posts of original art and stories and jokes I made for people’s ideas and headcanons, and reblogs of people’s creative projects and commission info.

I applied the same level of attention to weeding my blog on Tumblr that I’ve devoted to developing my island on Animal Crossing, and it was incredibly cathartic.

I don’t need to see a snapshot of myself going out of my way to be kind and friendly to someone who thought it would be a good idea to send me a message asking if they could commission me to drink an entire bottle of NyQuil and pass out with a plastic trash bag over my head, for example.

I was never friends with any of these creeps. It never happened.

For me, the purpose of Tumblr is and always has been to create a small garden of things that make me happy. I scroll through my own Tumblr when I’m stuck in a waiting room, or during some impossibly long train or car ride, or when I’m exhausted but can’t sleep. “Interesting but relaxing” is the vibe I’m going for, and I think I’ve gone a decent job, for the most part. After all, I’m fairly skilled at catering to myself as an audience of one.

I’ve never been comfortable with the expectation to behave like a brand; and, regardless, activity on Tumblr has declined rapidly during the past month or so. I’ve gone from getting well over a thousand notes a day at the beginning of the year to getting less than a hundred a day during the past three weeks, and it only takes me about fifteen minutes to scroll through an entire day’s feed – if I even bother, which I mostly don’t.

What has ultimately come out of my social experience of fandom on Tumblr are lowkey but lasting friendships with professional artists and writers who have mostly moved to Twitter. I understand the value of online anonymity, but I think there are benefits to allowing yourself to be a real and fully-rounded person online. There are also benefits to being able to mute people, as well as being able to choose never to see certain tags and keywords. I’m not saying that Twitter is a good platform, because it’s objectively awful, but it’s become a much easier place to manage the social aspects of fandom.

To be honest, it’s because of Twitter that I no longer think of “fandom” as a discrete area of my life that needs to be contained and concealed as a shameful waste of time. I am a writer who writes reviews and critical essays about media. Sometimes I write fiction and draw comics. This is who I am, and I’ve found it much easier to interact with people when I don’t have to hide aspects of myself. I’ve also found it much easier to pick up the sort of high-quality freelance assignments that enabled me to quit the soul-crushing job that was making me sick.

Maybe it took me a little longer than other people to find my voice and surround myself with a supportive community, but I’m happy I’m here now.

2020 Writing Log, Part 25

- I posted Chapter 40 of Malice on AO3. This is probably the last chapter of this story that I’ll write, at least for a few months. Maybe I’ll come back to it, and maybe I won’t. I’ve been lucky to be supported by a group of incredible readers on AO3, but I have almost no confidence in my ability to finish this story right now. It feels silly, to be honest. Some people write amazing, heart-shattering fanfiction, but I’m not sure I’m one of those people. That being said, I anticipate that I’ll feel differently once Nintendo releases more information about the Breath of the Wild sequel.

- I’m incredibly honored that Vhyrel agreed to work with me again on an illustration for this chapter. Speaking of heart-shattering, it’s absolutely gorgeous!

- I edited Chapter 7 of Malice. I’ll probably keep editing a chapter a week, if only for the practice.

- I got my assignment for the Multifandom Drabble fanfic exchange, and I’m excited. I put together a few story notes, and I should be able to complete a rough draft this week. If I have time, I’d like to write a bonus story as well.

- I withdrew an illustration that I submitted to the Ganondorf zine. I’ve learned a lot in the year since I created it, and I noticed a whole bunch of mistakes when I looked at it again. It would be too much trouble to fix everything, so I went ahead and posted the piece on Tumblr.

- I also submitted a comic to the zine, and I put a lot of time and effort into touching it up. I think this piece will still look good when the zine comes out, so it was worth it.

- I ordered a set of mirror-finish stickers from Sticker App based on this drawing of a Blupee (the rupee-dropping moth rabbits from Breath of the Wild). I also ordered a set of samples from the service. I’m particularly interested in their epoxy stickers. I have an idea for a set of designs that I might be inspired to create if the sticker quality is high enough.

- I completely sold out of my It Never Happened zine, so I went ahead and ordered another print run. I’m going to take some copies to various indie bookstores in Philadelphia this week to see if they’d be interested carrying them.

- After doing some research, I think I found a good venue for the original short story I’m going to start working on this week. The magazine specializes in “dark fantasy” rather than horror, which is good, and the suggested wordcount is perfect. If this venue doesn’t work out, I also found a backup. I’m excited to get started on this story!

- I wrote the third page of my Legend of Zelda essay. I intended to pick up the pace a bit, but then there was a new update for Animal Crossing, and... Well, we all know how that goes.