Is Your Dungeon OSHA Certified?
Dec. 24th, 2022 07:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingI’ve decided that Ananth from The Demon King will be the protagonist of this story. I really like the idea of a beleaguered mundane worker who is completely out of his depth but is doing his best to deal with magic and monsters. I also think it’s fun to play with the personality of someone who doesn’t care about most things but cares about entirely the wrong things way too much. Since this story is completely removed from the world of The Demon King, I’m going to revert to calling the character Balthazar. Not because of any Chrono Trigger reference, but because it’s a cool name and I like it.
Balthazar’s foil will be the OSHA inspector Asmodeus, who is loosely based on the character Elias Bouchard from The Magnus Archives, meaning that he’s very posh, very pragmatic, and very unconcerned with mortal human life. He’s also based on my experience of working with Germans, meaning that he considers it a virtue to be openly critical while not making any attempts to be friendly. Despite not being able to do it myself, I actually appreciate this sort of attitude a lot, as it tends to get shit done efficiently so everyone can go home early. Still, it does come off as a bit harsh, so I think it will be a good fit for a demonic OSHA inspector.
The basic idea is that the “dungeon” will be a factory that manufactures magical crystals, and that it should be able to accommodate the needs of its various nonhuman employees. I am not-so-secretly very concerned with real-world accessibility issues, but everything is going to be viewed through a heavy lens of fantasy. I’m getting a bit tired of performative wokeness in speculative fiction, but I still think it's a basic human right for everyone to be safe and comfortable at their workplace, even if they're not technically "human."
Dungeon raiders can – and will! – die horribly, though. Asmodeus will not care about this, but Balthazar will care maybe a bit too much. I think it would be funny for the story to conclude with Balthazar giving a tour of his dungeon to a party of heroes while bragging about all the accessibility improvements he’s made.
Okay, so here are some things your dungeon needs to be OSHA certified:
- at least one healing spring
- clear indication of the critical path
- ladders that can be safely extended and retracted
- stairs of varying heights for creatures of varying sizes
- clear signage for mechanisms that control the water level
- lava pits that function as break rooms for earth and fire creatures
- an ample supply of extra protective equipment in visibly marked treasure chests
- clearly marked indications for unstable or illusory walls susceptible to blunt force trauma
I will think of other things maybe as I learn more about actual OSHA certification.
Balthazar’s foil will be the OSHA inspector Asmodeus, who is loosely based on the character Elias Bouchard from The Magnus Archives, meaning that he’s very posh, very pragmatic, and very unconcerned with mortal human life. He’s also based on my experience of working with Germans, meaning that he considers it a virtue to be openly critical while not making any attempts to be friendly. Despite not being able to do it myself, I actually appreciate this sort of attitude a lot, as it tends to get shit done efficiently so everyone can go home early. Still, it does come off as a bit harsh, so I think it will be a good fit for a demonic OSHA inspector.
The basic idea is that the “dungeon” will be a factory that manufactures magical crystals, and that it should be able to accommodate the needs of its various nonhuman employees. I am not-so-secretly very concerned with real-world accessibility issues, but everything is going to be viewed through a heavy lens of fantasy. I’m getting a bit tired of performative wokeness in speculative fiction, but I still think it's a basic human right for everyone to be safe and comfortable at their workplace, even if they're not technically "human."
Dungeon raiders can – and will! – die horribly, though. Asmodeus will not care about this, but Balthazar will care maybe a bit too much. I think it would be funny for the story to conclude with Balthazar giving a tour of his dungeon to a party of heroes while bragging about all the accessibility improvements he’s made.
Okay, so here are some things your dungeon needs to be OSHA certified:
- at least one healing spring
- clear indication of the critical path
- ladders that can be safely extended and retracted
- stairs of varying heights for creatures of varying sizes
- clear signage for mechanisms that control the water level
- lava pits that function as break rooms for earth and fire creatures
- an ample supply of extra protective equipment in visibly marked treasure chests
- clearly marked indications for unstable or illusory walls susceptible to blunt force trauma
I will think of other things maybe as I learn more about actual OSHA certification.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-27 10:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 03:30 pm (UTC)For real though, the combination of Dark Souls and Final Fantasy XII has taught me a lot about good dungeon design. I think that's something that people don't appreciate enough about FFXII, how interesting and well-designed its dungeons are (in the first 3/4 of the game at least).
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 03:35 pm (UTC)It's really interesting to think about leveling design and dungeon design. One of the games I've been playing recently is Monark, which shares a lot of DNA with the early Persona games, and in some ways has not outgrown that early-00s game design aesthetic. It's still got some neat ideas and a very defined visual style, but it's also a bit of a rough ride.