Rynling R&D

My early experiences with video game fandom--o ye Yahoo Chat rooms, we pour one out for thee--were very much in male-dominated spaces where I accommodated myself to that kind of male gaze. Then I joined tabletop/LARP groups that were very heavily male, but over the years the gender balance in the latter has shifted such that we are not only gender-balanced, but we basically don't have the kind of shit one hears about with people getting harassed by men in their gaming spaces (as, effectively, an old-guard matriarch in our group at this point, I would know, because everyone knows I take exactly zero bullshit from anyone on this and will ride out with my ass-kicking boots on if I hear even a whisper of harassment, because while I will shut up and be sad on my own behalf, God help you if I find out you've been fucking with my friends.) Our group has, in fact, evolved to the point that when we've rarely had Stereotypical Male Geeks come in, they either adapt like lightning or GTFO on their own, because we don't allow that shit.

My online fandom has become the same--curated and trimmed so that I don't get slapped in the face by random sexism (or any other -ism) 95% of the time, and when I do, it's new and infuriating and WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THERE instead of another straw on an overburdened camel.

I know I'm so damn lucky to have come to a group like this, to have these kinds of spaces to thrive and grow in, and I read posts like this one and I wince and nod because I remember how that kind of fandom felt, and I'm so. fucking. grateful that I don't live there anymore because there are OTHER CHOICES.