I Fear The Discourse

[rynling]

I'm supposed to be writing a book about women and comics, and in fact I have been writing it. Now that I am already well past the deadline for the submission of my manuscript, I need to edit the material and tie everything together with an introduction so that the work stands as a cohesive whole with a strong underlying narrative. I've been dragging my feet on the introduction especially, and I think it's worth writing about what's been going on inside my head in an effort to twist myself away from the doldrums of my anxiety.

Essentially, I'm worried about the reception I will receive. It's highly likely that I will receive no reception at all, because not everyone can be a beautiful shining star. If people do pay attention to my writing, however, I'm worried that there will be backlash from three groups of people:

(1) the patriarchy, who will say that gender isn't worth talking about,
(2) feminist scholars, who will say that I don't engage deeply enough with theory, and
(3) self-identified feminist fans, who will say that I am an outsider to fandom or doing fandom wrong.

Honestly, at this point, I'm less worried about the patriarchy (which is unfortunately very real and manifests itself in very concrete ways) than I am about my fellow feminists, especially subcultures of feminists who have positioned embittered critique as the only valid mode of discussion regarding popular culture.

Comments

[lassarina]

"who have positioned embittered critique as the only valid mode of discussion" aaaaaaah this I needed this phrase. Yes. This.

[rynling]

Thank you so much for understanding where I'm coming from!

I am angry as fuck, always, but I still want my feminism to be joyful and uplifting. Even if everything isn't 100% perfect, we can still find things to celebrate, right?

(This is how I feel about FFXV, btw. I'm disappointed by the gender makeup of the main cast, because of course I am, but I can't help but look forward to playing the game... when it finally comes out.)

[lassarina]

Oh, man, FFXV is the source of so many damn conflicted feelings for me. As a game divorced from S-E it looks pretty fucking amazing and I want to play it. The cast gender makeup is infuriating. And yet, I'm aware that I'm judging it harder because it is an FF game, and I have higher expectations from that series, so the fact that it just turned around and punched me in the face is much more hurtful than if it had been Generic Game Company with Yet Another Game Full Of Dudes, you know?

....I still pre-ordered it. And it's one of those things where I emphatically respect choices on either side of that line, because I'm so conflicted about it myself.

I definitely am on board with "still find things to celebrate" and being joyful and uplifting. The world hurts enough. Maybe we could not add to that.