What Is Romance, How Does It Work

[rynling]

I'm interested in learning how to write better smutty romance, so recently I've been reading a lot of popular "guilty pleasure" novels and fanfic. I've noticed that a strong thematic undercurrent running through all of these narratives is the difference in power between the two parties. Although the conflicts that arise because of this imbalance are always resolved by the end of the story, it seems to be very important that one partner is repeatedly placed in a vulnerable and imperiled position at the hands of the other. If the two protagonists are of opposite genders, the woman will be physically and verbally threatened by the man. If it's a pairing between two men, the violence that the more dominant partner enacts is even more concrete and pronounced.

I'd really like to know where the appeal lies in all of this assault. I don't mean to kinkshame anyone - quite the opposite, in fact. I feel almost as if everyone is in on some secret that I haven't been told yet, and I very much want to be inducted into the inner mysteries of literary sexytimes.

Comments

[selenicdistance]

What "guilty pleasure" novels and fanfic are you reading? (If that isn't too personal.)

I can go in for some power imbalance-y stuff. Like, a relationship between some matter of royal and their knight/most trusted servant/whatever. (One of my oldest fandoms is Fire Emblem, and I guess all the royal heir/their loyal knight relationships shaped my shipping tendencies over the years, aha.) Not so much what you're describing, which sounds like that one sub-subgenre of romance novels. POV character, always a woman, is taken by (Taken by) some rakish nobleman/noble pirate/highlander/Arab oil sheikh/whatever, ends up at his mercy/disposal because of how rich and powerful he is, not to mention physically dangerous. Also, he's hot.

[flonnebonne]

*cough* sometimes I think it comes from the appeal of lying back and doing nothing while the other party does all the work lol. Laziness!

Obviously that's a flippant response, but I think that a lot of people do theoretically like the idea of...not being responsible for any sexy times that happen to happen? Because sex is taboo. "I am a strong, independent person who does not need sexy times! I have no time for this! Oh, someone is forcing it on me! Not my fault! I guess it's okay then. Tee hee."

Doesn't actually mean they like the idea of actual assault or abuse!

[auronlu]

That's baffling to me, since pretty much all the sexytimes I write (except for one or two disturbing outliers in which I was exploring the "horror" kink) involve mutual respect. Sometimes h/c, and I often write one partner pleasuring the other or light bondage, but both of those are "lie back and enjoy being the center of attention and/or let your partner enjoy getting to be in charge" type fantasies, not abuse-fantasies.

Come to think of it, both of my horror stories involved a partner being possessed by evil, and therefore some of the power of the scene came from danger and powerful emotions (in one case as a way to get two people together who were Just Friends otherwise). So even there, the abuse is couched and hedged about with This Is Wrong.

But when I was younger I did read assault-fantasies, rarely. There was something in the feeling of having it be overwhelming in every sense that made it powerful, as fantasy, even if in reality it would be unspeakably horrible and repellant.

I don't know. I'm a little alarmed by what you've discovered of "guilty pleasure" novels because I've been contemplating breaking into Kindle under a pseudonym, and if abuse by someone who is supposed to be one's lover is what sells... well, I can't write it!

[lassarina]

so, romance novels are a huge thing with me (I've read 50+ this year alone), and I really, really dislike power-imbalance-with-threatening. I've managed to find a good collection of authors who write power imbalance in really sexy ways without getting into threats (or rather, if someone threatens the female lead, that person is clearly a villain.) there are definitely some modern romance authors who are doing a lot with active consent as a sexy thing, and I am so infinitely here for that always. which I guess is a way of saying that if you want recs, I got 'em. (Also, my genre-of-choice for romance is Regency, which is about power imbalances in general and thus gives authors opportunities for power games that aren't physical-threat-related.)