The Silence of Our Friends

[rynling]

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm tired of basic, bog-standard white supremacy coloring everything I'm interested in or care about. It's boring and stupid and irrational and unnecessary, and the tools that can limit its influence are so simple and accessible that it's offensive when people forget to use them.

The topic of race as it applies to vectors of privilege and discrimination is extremely complicated. The social, cultural, economic, political systems that influence these vectors are deeply embedded and not always obvious. These issues can and must be viewed through an intersectional lens and approached from multiple directions. A multiplicity of voices is an absolute necessity in order to have useful and productive conversations.

This is why it makes me furious when people are excluded from or shut out of these conversations. I know this seems like an obvious thing to say, but what I keep seeing, over and over and over again, are diverse voices being left out of conversations about diversity, and it drives me crazy.

Comments

tag checks out

[snake_socks]

You're on a roll, aren't ya?

It feels wrong to say it's a pleasure to read, but you know, it sort of is.

Re: tag checks out

[rynling]

Thanks! I just… have some feelings about this sort of thing.

This particular set of rants was inspired by my dislike of performative social justice. The insistence on absolute ideological purity without reflection or nuance strikes me as dangerously authoritarian, and it’s disturbing wherever I see it, regardless of whether it’s on the right or on the left. More about this later I’m sure smh.

[runicmagitek]

Also see: why I've straight up stopped talking with people I used to consider friends, because they would eye roll and talk over me for twenty minutes about how sick and tired they were of hearing about privilege this and intersectional that. These are also the same people who seem to lose sleep over having to bother with showing mild respect to my preferred pronouns. Shocker, I know ಠ_ಠ

[rynling]

people who seem to lose sleep over having to bother with showing mild respect to my preferred pronouns

That’s classy. It sucks to lose friends, but yikes.

I sometimes fuck up people’s pronouns, and it’s always super awkward, but my ultimate goal is to do better, you know? It’s so graceful and cool to accept someone’s presentation that I don’t know why anyone would actually want to pull an obvious dick move like aggressively using the wrong name or pronouns (or making a dramatic production out of using the right name and pronouns, which can be even worse).

And I get that sometimes people need to vent – especially with the hours and hours and HOURS of counterproductive corporate-sponsored “sensitivity training” that some employees have to go through in the absolute worst of conditions – but jeez. I think that one of the main character traits that makes someone an adult is the ability to shut up and think about what’s upsetting them for at least a day or two before throwing a temper tantrum, which is why it’s so weird to see grown-ass humans complaining about how the world is changing. Good grief.

Keep fighting the good fight, friend!

[runicmagitek]

I would much rather have someone fuck up my pronouns every time and be all, "Oh shit! I'm so sorry" when I remind them instead of, "Ugh, really? Again? How am I supposed to remember this? It's too hard. Why can't you just pick he or she? Why do you have to make this complicated?" Like if it's not acceptable for me to call my shitty coworker whatever I want because I don't like his name - like, for example, Douchey McDouchington - then why the hell is it ok for people to use whatever they want with me? Sigh....

Oh man, I could go on a Ted Talk-sized rant about sensitivity training. I'd much rather punch someone in the face every time they say something racist, sexist, homophobic, etc until they got the point across. I've never seen anything productive come from a goddamn sensitivity training except ridicule and the situation getting worse.

ANYHOW.

Thank you for the support. I'm certainly trying. Yesterday I had a panic attack after I reached out to HR after a meeting about what other ideas we'd want to implement along the veins of International Women's Day and I mentioned, "Hey, why wasn't there a damn rainbow anywhere during Pride month last year?" aaaaand HR responded really favorable to that so... yeah. I just can't keep quiet about these kinds of things anymore. I'll write the fiction I want so people like us can exist, but I also want to do more. I guess that's a separate post for another time, but yeah. Fistbumps. We got this.

[rynling]

I reached out to HR after a meeting about what other ideas we'd want to implement along the veins of International Women's Day and I mentioned, "Hey, why wasn't there a damn rainbow anywhere during Pride month last year?" aaaaand HR responded really favorable to that so... yeah.

I just wanted to say, way after the fact, that WOW that is fucked up. You have my sympathy, and I hope that the message eventually gets heard by the right person.

I'm in Seattle right now, where they have a citywide "Safe Space" program: https://www.seattle.gov/spd-safe-place/spd-safe-place-application

Basically, you get a super cute set of decals in exchange for signing a contract saying that... you're not a homophobic dick, I guess? Anyway, everywhere downtown has them displayed, and maybe this was jetlag, but I sure did cry a whole lot when I noticed them. It's funny how such a small act of quiet support can mean so much without costing anyone anything. I feel like the culture in this country is changing, but goddamn, I sure wish it were changing faster. Good luck to both of us!!