Re: 2019 Weekly Writing Log, Part 3

[rynling]

I haven't been doing much writing recently, and I think the only way to deal with this is to just sit down for ten to twenty minutes every single day and write. The joy and feeling of freedom and flight will come, but first I have to put my butt in the chair.

The problem is the first five minutes of each writing session, during which I am utterly consumed by self-loathing.

There's also the walk to my car in my apartment building's underground parking deck (which is where I write these days since it gets no wireless signal), during which I feel super self-conscious and remember every single mean thing anyone has ever said to or about me on Tumblr.

I really enjoy writing, but I wish it didn't have so many negative associations for me. I've tried all sorts of sensible ideas (as well as downright weird ones) to knock myself out of this cycle of negativity, but I think the only thing that's really going to work is to get some sort of positive feedback, and I have yet to figure out how to make that happen, unfortunately.

Comments

[lassarina]

Do you have someone who can make happy squealing noises at you as you copy/paste bits of your WIPs? I have a couple friends whom I can dump paragraphs at for that small hit of praise, and I am happy to be such a person for you if you are in need of one.