![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Social Anxiety
Nov. 6th, 2016 09:26 amI am fully aware of how narcissistic this is, but recently I've been thinking a lot about why people on Tumblr don't seem to like me.
Generally speaking, my goal is to make the people around me feel happy and appreciated. Or rather, "make them feel" is not quite right; "I'd like them to feel" is closer to what I try to do by sending out positive and supportive vibes. It's hard, though, and I feel like I spend most of my time apologizing. I have so many interactions on Tumblr especially in which I try to be friendly but end up rubbing the other person the wrong way.
There's this idea that, if you keep putting out good work, you will build an audience. I've been posting stories and drawings at a steady rate, and I like to think that the quality of my work has improved, but I seem to have done the opposite of building an audience; there are a lot of people I used to be friendly with who haven't left the fandom but no longer interact with me. I want to put more of myself out there, but I'm so, so afraid. The more people see of me, the less they like me, and the less attention my work receives. I feel like an emotional hypochondriac for perceiving my social interactions on Tumblr like this, but I'm not wrong.
Then again, haters gonna hate.
Generally speaking, my goal is to make the people around me feel happy and appreciated. Or rather, "make them feel" is not quite right; "I'd like them to feel" is closer to what I try to do by sending out positive and supportive vibes. It's hard, though, and I feel like I spend most of my time apologizing. I have so many interactions on Tumblr especially in which I try to be friendly but end up rubbing the other person the wrong way.
There's this idea that, if you keep putting out good work, you will build an audience. I've been posting stories and drawings at a steady rate, and I like to think that the quality of my work has improved, but I seem to have done the opposite of building an audience; there are a lot of people I used to be friendly with who haven't left the fandom but no longer interact with me. I want to put more of myself out there, but I'm so, so afraid. The more people see of me, the less they like me, and the less attention my work receives. I feel like an emotional hypochondriac for perceiving my social interactions on Tumblr like this, but I'm not wrong.
Then again, haters gonna hate.
