Do What You Love, Part One

I think I might be in an abusive relationship with my job.

It has every single sign of an abusive relationship, like, every single one.

It might be time to quit.

Do What You Love, Part Two

I know I sound like a special snowflake for saying this, and I apologize in advance, but I love reading and studying and learning. I also enjoy academic writing kind of a whole lot, like probably an unhealthy amount to be honest.

I don’t mind teaching, and sometimes I even have a really good time doing it. I’m very lucky to be able to say that every single one of my students is a brilliant shining star, and it’s an honor and pleasure to be able to help smart and creative people find good jobs and follow their dreams.

But dear lord I cannot deal with university politics, and like. So many professors are such godawful people? For no real stakes and no real reason??

I’m losing faith in the notion that students are actually getting anything from their degrees, and it’s disheartening to see minority students and faculty get fucked over while universities bend over backwards to celebrate ~diversity~ on their glossy brochures. Given how much debt students have to take on, and given how unhappy everyone in higher education seems to be all the time, this entire enterprise is starting to seem borderline unethical to me.

Do What You Love, Part Three

I mean, I wouldn’t be the first person to say that academia is a cult.

I knew how terrible it was going in, and I kept going because I thought I could make it. I did make it, and I’ve been very successful, all things considered.

But it’s also like, good job rising to the top... of your weird cult.

It’s just, when I think about how normal and happy and well-adjusted I used to be even five years ago, it makes me physically ill. This line of work is obviously unhealthy, and it’s not as if I’m even making enough money for this to be a financially viable career, so why not just finish up my contract and walk away at the end of the academic year? Aside from the cult mentality, what’s stopping me?

Every Day Is My Birthday

This is completely unrelated to anything going on in my life right now, but I think it might be nice to change my birthday. My actual birthday is December 20; and, as ~mystical~ as being born on the winter solstice is, I’d prefer to have been born at a more convenient time for partying.

I’m not interested in lying on official documents or being deceitful about my age or anything like that, and I don’t give a good goddamn about astrology, but I’ve always thought it would be nice to celebrate my birthday at the height of summer, which is by far my favorite time of year.

Is that weird? I mean, is that something people do?

I’m having a bunch of people over for Thanksgiving, and I’m going to make everyone eat fancy cake and say it’s for my birthday, so why not just change the date entirely?