Nov. 22nd, 2019

rynling: (Gator Strut)
“I got tenure but decided to leave the university to pursue my writing career” has a nice ring to it.

This does too: “I was offered tenure, but I turned it down because I was also being offered a lot of writing and translation work. I was making a decent amount of money as a freelancer, and I wasn’t crazy about university service, so I decided to become a full-time writer.”

“I’m much happier now” also has a certain appeal.

I practiced saying “I’m a writer and translator who lives in Philadelphia,” and it felt great.
rynling: (Terra Branford)
If I left my job at the university, this is what I’d do:

(1) Go out to see movies every once in a while. I used to go see movies with friends all the time, but now I feel guilty about using two hours of time “unproductively.” Can we be real about how fucked up that is.

(2) See my family every few months. I’ve always had a rocky relationship with my family, but I’m fond of them, and it’s sad that my levels of emotional energy are so low that I haven’t even texted anyone in more than a year.

(3) Adopt a second dog. Now I’m just drunk with power lol.

I actually have a lot of fantasies about what I would do if I didn’t feel so miserable and trapped all the time. Like, I could have friends and be a part of a community again, and get back into gardening and cooking for myself, and take art classes, and do the sort of volunteer work I used to do, and maybe play some video games.

All of this is difficult to articulate, though, which makes a certain amount of sense given that one of the side effects of working ten-hour days six days a week is that you don’t have any room to imagine what your life would be like if you weren’t tired all the time. I think what I would probably do for the first few months is just chill out and take time to decompress.

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