Do What You Love, Part Five
Nov. 22nd, 2019 09:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingIf I left my job at the university, this is what I’d do:
(1) Go out to see movies every once in a while. I used to go see movies with friends all the time, but now I feel guilty about using two hours of time “unproductively.” Can we be real about how fucked up that is.
(2) See my family every few months. I’ve always had a rocky relationship with my family, but I’m fond of them, and it’s sad that my levels of emotional energy are so low that I haven’t even texted anyone in more than a year.
(3) Adopt a second dog. Now I’m just drunk with power lol.
I actually have a lot of fantasies about what I would do if I didn’t feel so miserable and trapped all the time. Like, I could have friends and be a part of a community again, and get back into gardening and cooking for myself, and take art classes, and do the sort of volunteer work I used to do, and maybe play some video games.
All of this is difficult to articulate, though, which makes a certain amount of sense given that one of the side effects of working ten-hour days six days a week is that you don’t have any room to imagine what your life would be like if you weren’t tired all the time. I think what I would probably do for the first few months is just chill out and take time to decompress.
(1) Go out to see movies every once in a while. I used to go see movies with friends all the time, but now I feel guilty about using two hours of time “unproductively.” Can we be real about how fucked up that is.
(2) See my family every few months. I’ve always had a rocky relationship with my family, but I’m fond of them, and it’s sad that my levels of emotional energy are so low that I haven’t even texted anyone in more than a year.
(3) Adopt a second dog. Now I’m just drunk with power lol.
I actually have a lot of fantasies about what I would do if I didn’t feel so miserable and trapped all the time. Like, I could have friends and be a part of a community again, and get back into gardening and cooking for myself, and take art classes, and do the sort of volunteer work I used to do, and maybe play some video games.
All of this is difficult to articulate, though, which makes a certain amount of sense given that one of the side effects of working ten-hour days six days a week is that you don’t have any room to imagine what your life would be like if you weren’t tired all the time. I think what I would probably do for the first few months is just chill out and take time to decompress.
