Do What You Love, Part Six

[rynling]

I resigned from my job earlier this week.

I'm going to teach my classes for the spring semester and help my advisees finish up their MA and MFA theses and capstone projects, but then I'm gone. I've already talked to the leasing office at my apartment building, and I will be out of DC by the end of May.

I feel really weird now. I went to college straight after being kicked out of high school when I was sixteen, so I've been in higher education continuously for twenty years. This is what I always wanted to do, and I've devoted my entire life to doing it.

I don't think I can explain how bizarre and upsetting resigning from my position is to someone outside of academia. It's like saying, Well, I left my job at my law firm after six years, and now it will be all but impossible for me to work as a lawyer again. All of the skills and experience I have are now useless, so much so that I may as well have a blank CV. This situation is crazy, because of course it is, but I'm worried that people outside academia will think I'm crazy for suggesting that this is the case.

Likewise, I don't think I will be able to explain my decision to anyone inside academia. In fact, I'm afraid that most people are going to be openly hostile.

I keep telling myself that academia is a cult. People inside the cult can't see outside, and people outside the cult won't understand.

Still, there's nothing to do but to keep moving forward.

Comments

[drmarcus]

Congratulations!! If you are anything like me, then you'll probably have moments of complete terror... which will pass when you remember how awful everything used to be. You are going to do fantastic. Please post pictures of the corgi.

By the way, my experiences after leaving academia is that few people inside academia think my decision was crazy, either because they know what it's like and believe my experiences or because I moved on to pharma and they figure I have fewer work-hours + make more money (which probably seems like a lazy but understandable option). People outside academia, though, tend to think I'm crazy, or exaggerating wildly, or straight-up lying if I tell them some of the reasons why I left academia, or they insist stubbornly that my experiences were clearly anomalous and cannot have been representative in any way of what it's like at universities and medical schools in the west.

[rynling]

My experiences after leaving academia is that few people inside academia think my decision was crazy

Thank you so much, and this is really good to know!

I've heard some gossip about people in my field who were denied tenure, and there seems to be a tendency for people to blame them. Like, their work wasn't good enough, they were a difficult person, etc. I'm sure this is true of some people, of course, but I know for certain that it's not true about most of them.

Looking back on this from the perspective of January 2020, I think what the people who ended up leaving have in common is that they're all female. It's frustrating to see brilliant women be forced out - especially since some of the men who were hired to replace them have gotten caught up in #MeToo scandals during the past two years.

I think the moral of this story is that, since toxic people are going to be toxic no matter what, the best thing is to cut the people spreading gross gossip out of my social contacts. As a legend once said:

[runicmagitek]

Wherever you go from here, I hope it's positive and empowering for you. Wishing nothing but the best in your new career ventures ♥

[rynling]

Thank you so much! I'm starting to realize that a lot of this is about luck, and I can use all that I can get!!

[flonnebonne]

Sounds like it’s been pretty bad at work for you for a long time, so congratulations on getting out. Wishing you the best!

I recently got out of my abusive job/industry, and I am so much happier and healthier. There is no price on that. Do it and don’t look back.

Just a thought...you have tons of academic credentials, so you can probably offer tutoring services at a very high hourly rate. Would that be a good way to make some money before you land your next job? (I have a friend who tutors full time, and she makes as much as or more money than me at my last abusive job).

[rynling]

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU! FOR MAKING IT OUT ALIVE!!

Really, I mean that. I get such a thrill of excitement whenever I hear that someone has escaped from a toxic work environment. Kudos mate!!

I'm lucky to already have a full-time research position waiting for me at UPenn, and it's just a matter of getting the paperwork sorted out at this point before the affiliation is official. I also do a fair amount of freelance translation work (mostly legal documents and the sort of technical writing you'd see in a digital camera manual), so I have a decent cushion. And I think my biggest source of income will be to not live in Washington DC, which is very beautiful but not even remotely affordable.

I think I'll be okay in terms of finances, but! I am intrigued by the possibility of doing part-time tutoring work. You aren't the first person to tell me that there's money to be made there, and I think it might actually be fun. I always had a good time teaching upper-level Japanese language classes, and I'm intrigued by the prospect of teaching classes in English-language vocabulary and grammar.

And, I mean, if I can help embittered and exhausted college kids at a large state school, then I can help tired and anxiety-ridden teenagers at a small prep school, right? I feel bad for the college kids, because they've already taken on a huge burden of debt, but maybe I can help the younger kids get into a better school with a better financial aid package.

The more I think about this, the more feasible it seems. Thank you!

[flonnebonne]

Aw thank you! It means a lot to me, hearing kudos for getting out, since I still get pressure from well-meaning people to get back in. But the longer I am out, the less tempting it is to hop back into a toxic industry so that I can make more money more steadily. I don’t intend to have kids or spend tons of money, so why should I be a slave to a job I don’t like?

Tutoring is very rewarding! I used to do a lot of ESL tutoring, and I still do some, but what I like best is English lit and Social Studies tutoring for high school students. I enjoy focusing on ideas more than grammar, because then you get to say things like, “Hamlet is a sexist asshole and it’s really annoying that our society mainly remembers him for his existential blah blah blah rather than for his abuses against his girlfriend (and occasionally his mom).” I am kind of allowed to say all sorts of things I wouldn’t say in a classroom :> You end up influencing the students a lot—one of my friends who tutors full-time sometimes ends up helping steer kids away from scary radicalization...

I do a lot of my tutoring online nowadays using Zoom Meetings and Google docs, which is really convenient but not as nice as in-person tutoring. Blended model of online sometimes, in-person sometimes works pretty well.

That’s really cool that you can help students on the financial end too! Your knowledge of the system will be super valuable on that front. If I ever meet any students who look like they are going to get into massive amounts of debt in the US system maybe I will ask you some questions. Or just send you a client if you want :D

[lassarina]

I'm so glad you're taking care of yourself.

[rynling]

Thank you so much! I'm super excited about the future for the first time in a long time.