Congratulations, I Guess

[rynling]

My first monograph was officially released yesterday, on April 1, 2020.

This doesn't mean much, unfortunately. Amazon currently has the book listed as "out of stock," and at the moment you can only get the digital version from the publisher's website.

Last weekend I was supposed to have been giving a high-profile panel, promoting my book, and talking to presses about my second book project at the big conference for my field. I was also scheduled to give a handful of talks at universities up and down the East Coast during April. I've been working for the past four years to make this happen, and now it's all just... gone.

This sounds like an inane thing to say during a global pandemic, but I can't help but be upset.

I keep thinking about Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers, which is about why certain groups of people seem to be magically successful while other equally worthy people can never seem to catch their big break. Gladwell's conclusion is basically this: Sometimes, you're just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes, entire generations are at the wrong place at the wrong time. And there's nothing that you or any one individual can do about it.

I'm feeling frustrated and useless right now, and I'm also haunted by a strong sense of being "the wrong type of doctor." I wish there were something I could do. Not about my stupid book about comics, but about the general state of the world. Given that my personal experience with the American university system has been so broken, I'm starting to think seriously about alternative routes to achieving broader and more accessible public education.

If nothing else, I guess I have time.

Comments

[runicmagitek]

That is 1000000% something to be upset about. How were you or anyone else to know a pandemic would happen in this time frame? And with how quickly everything's been unraveling, it's blindsided so many of us. Everything with your book was something you were preparing for and then it vanished :( that's awful. I am so so sorry *all the ghost hugs*

With my shitty health, I've been in a constant state of "I want to do more" in varying degrees. Now it's in full blast and I hate sitting at home and doing nothing... though I also know it's in my interest to keep doing that so I don't die. It's difficult to wrap my head around it, but little things help. I saw you posting the other day that you're donating and so froth. That's tremendous. We don't all need to be doctors and emergency responders to be helpful - sometimes giving someone a reason to smile is enough.

[rynling]

though I also know it's in my interest to keep doing that so I don't die

Please don't die.

There are a lot of people around me who are particularly vulnerable to this, and I wanted to use the resources I have to do what I can, even if my only real resource is my stupidly strong immune system, which I have only by the random good grace of genetics.


Also, despite being a lazy asshole, I'm relatively physically fit. On the afternoon of the day my university shut down, I actually went to all of my local urban grocery stores to try to get temp work. I don't need the money - not the shitty minimum wage I'd be paid at the end of four weeks, anyway - but I thought this might help address what was quickly becoming a critical labor shortage. It might also enable the full-time people take reduced hours without consequence, or it might help people who are vulnerable take the next month off.

Unfortunately, everywhere I went told me that there was a hiring freeze. I therefore decided to apply at the local Amazon warehouse shipping service, and they told me I was too old. Which is crazy. I go jogging and do weight lifting literally every day, but I'm "too old." I felt like one of those characters in a JRPG where everyone's like, "This old person is impossibly ancient," and then later you learn that they're supposed to be, like, thirty.

So then I went to various local relief groups, and they turned me away because I don't have medical experience.

This was in no way my experience after Hurricane Katrina, or after the March 2011 Triple Disaster in Japan, or during the BLM movement. In my mind, there are two possibilities, both of which are probably true to some extent: Either the current federal administration is especially shit and poorly equipped to set meaningful policy during this crisis, or the crisis itself is much more serious than most people know.

At this point, I think "stay at home, be kind, and keep the lights of civilization on" is the most effective and courageous action most of us can take right now.

[runicmagitek]

Please don't die.

Definitely making a valiant effort in this department D: for what it's worth, I'm kind of working from home indefinitely, so that's helpful (for minimizing my risk, but staying mentally stable is a different story).

I'm not even remotely surprised about the job stuff. It's awful, but yeah, hiring freezes are everywhere. My company has a hiring freeze and in the past week or two let go of all temp workers with some bullshit excuse. Because firing minimum wage people so the people with ten times their salary can stay afloat :\

there are two possibilities, both of which are probably true to some extent: Either the current federal administration is especially shit and poorly equipped to set meaningful policy during this crisis, or the crisis itself is much more serious than most people know.

Yeeaaaah that's how I'm feeling too :( it sucks the experience now is different than in the past. And completely resonate with your last bit about staying home. It's so true and so few seem to realize it 💕