Voices Are Not Commodities
Sep. 11th, 2020 07:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingI Know I'm Late
https://medium.com/@rebecca.albertalli/i-know-im-late-9b31de339c62
So why do we keep doing this? Why do we, again and again, cross the line between critiquing books and making assumptions about author identities? How are we so aware of invisible marginalization as a hypothetical concept, but so utterly incapable of making space for it in our community?
Let me be perfectly clear: this isn’t how I wanted to come out. This doesn’t feel good or empowering, or even particularly safe. Honestly, I’m doing this because I’ve been scrutinized, subtweeted, mocked, lectured, and invalidated just about every single day for years, and I’m exhausted. And if you think I’m the only closeted or semi-closeted queer author feeling this pressure, you haven’t been paying attention.
Let me be perfectly clear: this isn’t how I wanted to come out. This doesn’t feel good or empowering, or even particularly safe. Honestly, I’m doing this because I’ve been scrutinized, subtweeted, mocked, lectured, and invalidated just about every single day for years, and I’m exhausted. And if you think I’m the only closeted or semi-closeted queer author feeling this pressure, you haven’t been paying attention.
As someone who was disowned by my family after being outed at fifteen, and as someone who was very recently forced to leave a stable job after disclosing a disability, my position on the matter is clear: Personal identity is complicated, and no one should be made to feel pressured to disclose sensitive personal information in a public venue. This is not social justice; it’s real violence performed against people in vulnerable positions.
Also relevant:
no subject
Date: 2020-09-12 03:05 pm (UTC)This also reminded me of a fic I worked on in 2015 where one of the characters started as GNC and then gradually turned into a non-binary identity, including a massive, painful monologue about living in a world where people don't respect your gender. Fast forward a year later, I realized I was non-binary and was probably working a lot of my shit through that particular character. I still haven't published that fic, mostly because I don't want to deal with any backlash with how I "handled" that, even more so with how personal all of it is.
One of my friends made a post the other week about racism in fandom and their experiences and ultimately we commented on how there's little to no room for nuanced conversations about these extremely important topics and people gobble up absolutist ideals for the sake of woke points. It's sad. It really is.
It's exactly like you said: This is not social justice; it’s real violence performed against people in vulnerable positions.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-12 05:59 pm (UTC)If you're feeling masochistic, I also recommend this book...
https://groveatlantic.com/book/kathleen-hale-is-a-crazy-stalker/
...in which the essayist, a young and moderately popular YA author, talks about what it was like to feel forced to admit to being sexually assaulted on social media only to then experience an incredible wave of backlash from her actual family.
My own experience as a published author hasn't been great either. I'll probably post about it here eventually, but I'm not quite ready. There's a lot of cognitive dissonance involved. I'm grateful to have been given this opportunity, yet at the same time I wish that all of the feedback I've received weren't so overwhelmingly... not negative, necessarily, but petty and inappropriate.
That being said, I know there are a lot of fans of your writing in the world, and I'm definitely one of them. Even if it's not now, I hope you'll feel comfortable sharing your fic from 2015 one day, even if you post it anonymously and with comments disabled. You're such a fantastic writer, and I get the feeling that a story like this has the potential the speak to any number of people in fandom who aren't seeing themselves in mainstream fiction.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-15 12:31 pm (UTC)Also me, after a quick Google search: OH. THAT'S WHY. ALRIGHT. *adds books to "to-read" list*
I'm so sorry about the bs responses to your book :( that sounds extra shitty. I swear social media, but Twitter in particular, has conditioned people to barf out the first incoherent thought that comes to mind for the sake of Internet Points or whatever. You have amazing thoughts and your writing (both here and your fics) is stellar. I know it's counterproductive to handwave at it and be like, "Oh, just ignore those idiots," and I'm only one person, but I'm shaking my pompoms for you. The stuff you do and share (your own and others)? I want more of that good shit 💕
Once again, you are too kind for words! 💕 one day I might revisit that particular fic and rework it, mostly because 2015!me and 2020!me write differently, but thank you for your support.