rynling | Everyone Has a Weakness

ME: Oh my god Jurassic World was the best movie.

ME: Did you see it when the dinosaurs did the thing?

ME: And then when the other dinosaurs did the other thing?

ME: Also there was that time with the dinosaurs?

GF: Yes, but what was your take on the gender roles?

ME: Gender is a social construction dinosaurs are forever.

GF: But don't you have any thoughts about the science?

ME: It was so cool when the T-rex and the Velociraptor were friends right???

GF: Are you crying?

I'm sorry, but I need to talk more about the dinosaur movie.

Chris Pratt is my husband. Omar Sy is also my husband. Bryce Howard is my wife. Irrfan Khan and B.D. Wong? They are both my spouses. Those two kids are my children.

Do you know how guys always cringe when there’s a crotch kick onscreen? I feel that way about women running in heels. There's this scene towards the end when Bryce Howard is running from the T-rex and for a split second you see her foot come down in a puddle that then vibrates from the footstep of the dinosaur. It was at that moment that I noticed she was running along a crack in the pavement in her little stick shoes on her little stick legs, and I was like, Oh god oh god oh god she is going to twist her ankle and it is going to be extremely unpleasant for everyone involved.

There's also this scene early in the movie when Chris Pratt tells Bryce Howard that she needs to go outside and get some sun. This is foolish of him, because he should know that most redheads are mildly allergic to sunlight. We have cool superpowers, but we don't tan.

Certain sections of the internet have been up in arms about how the younger brother isn't explicitly identified as having Asperger's, but I actually appreciate the ambiguity. For kids who have been diagnosed, he can easily serve as symbolic representation. Meanwhile, kids who are just intelligent and very excited about dinosaurs don't need to worry about having to feel as if they have some sort of "syndrome."

I unironically love it how the last quarter of the movie was basically an extended pokémon battle. That was everything I ever wanted from this movie and any movie.

I don't understand why people kept trying to shoot the dinosaurs, because guns obviously don't work and have never worked for this purpose. Honestly bros, this is why swords and elemental magic were invented. Don't bring a gun to a fight with a dragon, that is just common sense.