![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingI did go to New York, but I am still depressed.
I'm working as hard as I can, but nothing is going anywhere.
I would give anything for a little more talent, or a little less fear.
It's funny, but all my life I've been passed over for various awards, some of which would have been crucial to my career. Some of these snubs have been truly absurd; and, when I asked what was going on, people always said the same thing: You looked like you were happy and doing okay on your own, and that you didn't need this, so we gave it to someone who looked like they were struggling and would benefit from positive reinforcement. It occurs to me now that that's a really fucked up and backhanded thing to say, but still, I want to emphasize: I put on a good show on social media, but I am not doing okay.
I know this sort of feeling of stagnation and inadequacy is just a small resting place on any creative path, but damn it's not easy to be here right now.
I'm working as hard as I can, but nothing is going anywhere.
I would give anything for a little more talent, or a little less fear.
It's funny, but all my life I've been passed over for various awards, some of which would have been crucial to my career. Some of these snubs have been truly absurd; and, when I asked what was going on, people always said the same thing: You looked like you were happy and doing okay on your own, and that you didn't need this, so we gave it to someone who looked like they were struggling and would benefit from positive reinforcement. It occurs to me now that that's a really fucked up and backhanded thing to say, but still, I want to emphasize: I put on a good show on social media, but I am not doing okay.
I know this sort of feeling of stagnation and inadequacy is just a small resting place on any creative path, but damn it's not easy to be here right now.
