The Building Is On Fire Karen
Dec. 30th, 2021 03:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingLet’s say there are three scenarios in which you have anxiety about your apartment building catching on fire.
One: You are living in an apartment building in which there has never been a fire. But because the future is uncertain and accidents happen, you’re worried that it’s not inconceivable that there could be a fire.
Two: You are living in an apartment building in which there has been a fire. The building managers say they’ve taken steps to ensure that there will never be a fire again, and a certificate from the public health inspector confirms this. But because landlords are creeps and public inspectors can be bribed, you’re worried that it’s possible that there could be another fire.
Three: You are living in an apartment building in which there has been a fire just last week, not to mention the week before that. And the week before that. And the week before that. And also there was a fire in the building next door. Holy crap that’s a lot of fires, and you are worried!
In the first situation, a therapist could help you deal with your anxiety about fire.
In the second situation, a therapist could help you deal with your anxiety and fire, and also the fact that the people tasked with maintaining public safety are frequently negligent and corrupt.
In the third situation, a therapist could help support you as you get the fuck out of that building.
Unfortunately, the therapist can only help you in the third scenario if they’re willing to accept that the problem is not you making things up in your head. And that can be difficult to do, because you’re in such a horrible situation that not even you are entirely certain that you’re not making things up. But it’s the therapist’s job, as a professional, to listen to you in order to try to see and understand things that you can’t.
The problem is that a lot of therapists, like a lot of nurses, are either (a) overworked and tired, or (b) sociopaths who get off on occupying a position of relative authority. In my own experience with therapy, I have repeatedly found myself metaphorically living in a building that is on fire around me, and multiple therapists have asked me why I’m so bothered by the smell of smoke. I hope I don’t need to explain that this sort of response is incredibly frustrating, and all the more so when it’s coming from a therapist.
So I guess, for me at least, what I appreciate about My Favorite Murder is that the hosts take anxiety seriously and speak from the position of having good therapists who help them understand it. And what they say is what a good therapist should be able to tell you: “If you smell smoke, then you need to get the fuck out, because buildings catching on fire is a thing that happens all the time, and you’re not crazy for noticing the warning signs.” And it’s really nice to be able to hear that, even in retrospect. Even from two comedians hosting a podcast.
By the way, the stories on the podcast aren’t just about murder. I’d say that maybe a third of them are about (easily preventable) disasters, including buildings literally being on fire. To be honest, I feel like this podcast is teaching me a lot about American history and infrastructure. It’s sort of like 99% Invisible without the annoyance of Roman Mars being an insufferable prick, and also with the added bonus of listener-submitted horror stories.
One: You are living in an apartment building in which there has never been a fire. But because the future is uncertain and accidents happen, you’re worried that it’s not inconceivable that there could be a fire.
Two: You are living in an apartment building in which there has been a fire. The building managers say they’ve taken steps to ensure that there will never be a fire again, and a certificate from the public health inspector confirms this. But because landlords are creeps and public inspectors can be bribed, you’re worried that it’s possible that there could be another fire.
Three: You are living in an apartment building in which there has been a fire just last week, not to mention the week before that. And the week before that. And the week before that. And also there was a fire in the building next door. Holy crap that’s a lot of fires, and you are worried!
In the first situation, a therapist could help you deal with your anxiety about fire.
In the second situation, a therapist could help you deal with your anxiety and fire, and also the fact that the people tasked with maintaining public safety are frequently negligent and corrupt.
In the third situation, a therapist could help support you as you get the fuck out of that building.
Unfortunately, the therapist can only help you in the third scenario if they’re willing to accept that the problem is not you making things up in your head. And that can be difficult to do, because you’re in such a horrible situation that not even you are entirely certain that you’re not making things up. But it’s the therapist’s job, as a professional, to listen to you in order to try to see and understand things that you can’t.
The problem is that a lot of therapists, like a lot of nurses, are either (a) overworked and tired, or (b) sociopaths who get off on occupying a position of relative authority. In my own experience with therapy, I have repeatedly found myself metaphorically living in a building that is on fire around me, and multiple therapists have asked me why I’m so bothered by the smell of smoke. I hope I don’t need to explain that this sort of response is incredibly frustrating, and all the more so when it’s coming from a therapist.
So I guess, for me at least, what I appreciate about My Favorite Murder is that the hosts take anxiety seriously and speak from the position of having good therapists who help them understand it. And what they say is what a good therapist should be able to tell you: “If you smell smoke, then you need to get the fuck out, because buildings catching on fire is a thing that happens all the time, and you’re not crazy for noticing the warning signs.” And it’s really nice to be able to hear that, even in retrospect. Even from two comedians hosting a podcast.
By the way, the stories on the podcast aren’t just about murder. I’d say that maybe a third of them are about (easily preventable) disasters, including buildings literally being on fire. To be honest, I feel like this podcast is teaching me a lot about American history and infrastructure. It’s sort of like 99% Invisible without the annoyance of Roman Mars being an insufferable prick, and also with the added bonus of listener-submitted horror stories.
