Re: Sharpen Your Tools
Oct. 21st, 2022 08:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingThe essay I linked to isn't really about this, but I want to reflect on the passage I quoted. The sentiment (as expressed by another person on Tumblr) that "I would rather be friends with someone who has good intentions than a mean person who says the right things" as been thrown at me several times before, and I don't think the author of either post is trying to say that normal and reasonable people shouldn't be allowed to speak out against injustice because it's "mean."
Rather, both posts are criticizing harassment and hypocrisy. Essentially:
Given the choice between someone who harasses me using the language of social justice and someone who is friendly and supportive but sometimes says clueless shit in public, I would prefer the person who doesn't send me anonymous rape threats on social media.
Likewise, given the choice between a person in power who's on my side but uses offensive language and a similar person who sees me as disposable but is 100% politically correct at all times to avoid legal liability, I'm going to choose the person who isn't going to fire me without severance pay on the basis of disability.
Usually it's not so cut and dry, though. What happens when a friend with good intentions behaves extraordinarily poorly on a consistent basis and refuses to understand that their behavior is hurtful? What happens when all jobs are equally shit, and you have to choose between the shit job with the "evil" boss who uses your correct pronouns and the shit job with the "good" boss who makes jokes about you raping people in the bathroom?
But let's be real, you shouldn't have to choose. Your relationship with any given friend or colleague should not be about how much harassment or bigotry you're willing to put up with. If it sucks, hit da bricks!!
Rather, both posts are criticizing harassment and hypocrisy. Essentially:
Given the choice between someone who harasses me using the language of social justice and someone who is friendly and supportive but sometimes says clueless shit in public, I would prefer the person who doesn't send me anonymous rape threats on social media.
Likewise, given the choice between a person in power who's on my side but uses offensive language and a similar person who sees me as disposable but is 100% politically correct at all times to avoid legal liability, I'm going to choose the person who isn't going to fire me without severance pay on the basis of disability.
Usually it's not so cut and dry, though. What happens when a friend with good intentions behaves extraordinarily poorly on a consistent basis and refuses to understand that their behavior is hurtful? What happens when all jobs are equally shit, and you have to choose between the shit job with the "evil" boss who uses your correct pronouns and the shit job with the "good" boss who makes jokes about you raping people in the bathroom?
But let's be real, you shouldn't have to choose. Your relationship with any given friend or colleague should not be about how much harassment or bigotry you're willing to put up with. If it sucks, hit da bricks!!
