Ending Is Better Than Mending
Jan. 11th, 2016 10:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingI'm currently on another editing binge. It hasn't been pleasant.
I have a few pairings that I love and never get tired of, and every once in a while I'll go onto the appropriate tag on AO3 and read everything. This means that I end up reading my own fic in the context of all the other work that's been posted.
This can be embarrassing, especially in the Final Fantasy fandom. The stories those nerds write are amazing, while the ones I've writtenare shamefully awful need work.
All things considered, I'm not a bad writer. When it comes to fiction, however, I'm entirely self-taught, and my earlier stories had two major problems. The first was that I didn't know how to edit. (To be fair, I still don't, but I'm learning.) The second was that I used to have trouble writing if I wasn't drinking. I always wanted to write fiction, but I felt like I couldn't because of Reasons. I kept at it and found my way around that particular mental blockage, but the toll on the quality of my writing was high. Everyone who ever left a kudo on one of my stories is a motherfucking saint.
I'm going back to my old fic and trying to patch things up, but it's painful. I'm tempted to give up and delete everything.
I have a few pairings that I love and never get tired of, and every once in a while I'll go onto the appropriate tag on AO3 and read everything. This means that I end up reading my own fic in the context of all the other work that's been posted.
This can be embarrassing, especially in the Final Fantasy fandom. The stories those nerds write are amazing, while the ones I've written
All things considered, I'm not a bad writer. When it comes to fiction, however, I'm entirely self-taught, and my earlier stories had two major problems. The first was that I didn't know how to edit. (To be fair, I still don't, but I'm learning.) The second was that I used to have trouble writing if I wasn't drinking. I always wanted to write fiction, but I felt like I couldn't because of Reasons. I kept at it and found my way around that particular mental blockage, but the toll on the quality of my writing was high. Everyone who ever left a kudo on one of my stories is a motherfucking saint.
I'm going back to my old fic and trying to patch things up, but it's painful. I'm tempted to give up and delete everything.
no subject
Date: 2016-01-12 11:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-12 09:20 pm (UTC)I know you didn't ask, but here is a true story:
When I was younger I was all like OMG I AM A WRITER!!1! and sent a bunch of original fiction out to magazines and editors. Everything was unilaterally rejected, sometimes with comments that were so nasty I almost can't believe I ever received them. My mature and reasoned response to this was FUCK YOU AND FUCK THIS, and in my rage I ended up writing my first fic (which just so happened to be about Bowser and Peach).
I think there might be a minimum level requirement when it comes to getting original fiction accepted, and I get the feeling that my EXP bar might be just about full. With a bit more grinding, and I might be ready for new things.
Jesus I sound like such a goober, just ignore me. But still - thank you!!