Social Scripts
Mar. 30th, 2025 01:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingwe actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without
https://3liza.tumblr.com/779393705586147328/hi-i-am-so-excited-about-this-post-because-i-have
A lot of tough situations where we now feel like we “don’t know what to do or say” had social scripts just a couple of generations ago and they might have been canned phrases or robotic actions but they could still be meant sincerely and unfortunately we haven’t replaced them with any more sincere or easier new script.
I'm going to be real and admit that "canned social scripts" are one of the many reasons I love spending time in Japan and Germany. It's not that awkwardness doesn't exist; rather, every conceivable social situation comes with a ready-made "get out of jail free" card that you can use to communicate your intentions, from "I'd like to be invited" to "I'm going to leave now."
This is super effective for someone like me, whose ADHD sometimes makes communication difficult. The way ADHD tends to work is that you'll construct a rapid series of mental connections that make perfect sense to you (and to other ADHD people, more than likely) but might require explanation to someone else.
To give an example, if an ADHD person wants to leave a meeting or a party, they might say "I'm gonna go use the bathroom," which translates to: I'm going to use the bathroom > as a way to leave this conversation > and also as preparation to get on the road > and this is a social transition I'm making > so that you don't feel bad that I'm leaving > and try to get me to stay > which I don't want to do > but I would feel awkward saying that > and also I do in fact have to use the bathroom.
Most people will pick up on the speaker's intention from context clues, but you can't take that as a given. Thankfully, if there's a set social script that everyone is familiar with, communication can happen with a minimum of misunderstandings. I love that shit. I fucking love it. I sure wish we had it in the United States.
https://3liza.tumblr.com/779393705586147328/hi-i-am-so-excited-about-this-post-because-i-have
A lot of tough situations where we now feel like we “don’t know what to do or say” had social scripts just a couple of generations ago and they might have been canned phrases or robotic actions but they could still be meant sincerely and unfortunately we haven’t replaced them with any more sincere or easier new script.
I'm going to be real and admit that "canned social scripts" are one of the many reasons I love spending time in Japan and Germany. It's not that awkwardness doesn't exist; rather, every conceivable social situation comes with a ready-made "get out of jail free" card that you can use to communicate your intentions, from "I'd like to be invited" to "I'm going to leave now."
This is super effective for someone like me, whose ADHD sometimes makes communication difficult. The way ADHD tends to work is that you'll construct a rapid series of mental connections that make perfect sense to you (and to other ADHD people, more than likely) but might require explanation to someone else.
To give an example, if an ADHD person wants to leave a meeting or a party, they might say "I'm gonna go use the bathroom," which translates to: I'm going to use the bathroom > as a way to leave this conversation > and also as preparation to get on the road > and this is a social transition I'm making > so that you don't feel bad that I'm leaving > and try to get me to stay > which I don't want to do > but I would feel awkward saying that > and also I do in fact have to use the bathroom.
Most people will pick up on the speaker's intention from context clues, but you can't take that as a given. Thankfully, if there's a set social script that everyone is familiar with, communication can happen with a minimum of misunderstandings. I love that shit. I fucking love it. I sure wish we had it in the United States.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-31 09:15 pm (UTC)Scripts are so helpful for when you just need to convey the thing but don't want to get into the thorns of it.
no subject
Date: 2025-04-01 12:56 pm (UTC)But also, I am pouring one out for all the ESL speakers who have to navigate through American-dominated internet spaces. 😅
no subject
Date: 2025-04-03 01:43 pm (UTC)