On Neckbeardism
Jul. 6th, 2016 10:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingThere's a (five-month-old) comic on Everyday Feminism (link) currently being passed around certain dude-centric circles (primarily male-identified Let's Play Youtubers) on Twitter that makes a decent argument for, in the words of the site editors, "why we can’t keep using gendered insults based on appearance."
Okay, but...
When people say "neckbeard," what they're referring to is someone who's so intensely engaged with spouting nonsense all over the internet that he can't be bothered to step away from his computer to make himself socially presentable. As someone who doesn't shave her legs and routinely gets castigated by medical professionals for being overweight (I'm a butch girl who's into lifting, leave me and my shitty haircut and my flannel shirts alone), I get that normative beauty standards can be repressive, but neckbeardism goes beyond "not fitting in" and into the realm of thinking it's okay for you to do whatever you want, like a caveman who thinks he can club women over the head and get away with it because that's just how he (t)rolls.
Of course the insult "neckbeard" is gendered, mainly because it's used as a shorthand for a certain type of male entitlement that tends to result in both subtly sexist and openly misogynistic attitudes and behaviors.
Even though I obviously agree with the artist that we shouldn't insult people on the basis of their sex, gender, body type, financial circumstances, or perceived deviance from neurotypical behaviors, there's way more to the word "neckbeard" than hating men because of their male bodies. Is "dudebro" problematic because it stigmatizes male homosocial friendship? Is "sad panda" problematic because it stigmatizes non-alpha male personalities? Is "mansplainer" problematic because it stigmatizes male intellectualism?
Using social justice terminology to ask people to stop using the gendered insult "neckbeard" without addressing the highly gendered behavior that results in men being called "neckbeards" in the first place feels like a rhetorical sleight of hand that only serves to make people who have suffered from online harassment feel guilty about using one of the only weapons in their paltry arsenal. Like any insult, the word "neckbeard" does in fact dehumanize men, but let's be real, sometimes a girl needs to create an emotional distance between herself and the people who for some reason think it's okay to attack her just because that's what you do on the internet.
I'm not saying it's okay to see a random person at a con and be like, "Hey look at that gross/fat/autistic neckbeard" – although this sounds like a strawman argument to me, who even does that? – but I refuse to perform the emotional labor necessary to view online trolls as unique and precious individuals who deserve my sympathy and forgiveness.
I mean, I don't know, it's complicated. I can understand the point the artist is trying to make, but I'm also speaking from a standpoint of intense bitterness because of full two decades of unfortunate experiences on the internet. I'm willing to be persuaded to stop using the word "neckbeard" to make myself and other women feel slightly better about having become the targets of a specific type of stereotypically antisocial behavior, but it's going to take more than this comic.
In conclusion, I guess, being a good person is hard. Social justice promises – and occasionally delivers – easy fixes, but the world is complicated, and navigating kyriarchies of privilege is never going to be as simple as acknowledging that different people occupy different positionalities.
Okay, but...
When people say "neckbeard," what they're referring to is someone who's so intensely engaged with spouting nonsense all over the internet that he can't be bothered to step away from his computer to make himself socially presentable. As someone who doesn't shave her legs and routinely gets castigated by medical professionals for being overweight (I'm a butch girl who's into lifting, leave me and my shitty haircut and my flannel shirts alone), I get that normative beauty standards can be repressive, but neckbeardism goes beyond "not fitting in" and into the realm of thinking it's okay for you to do whatever you want, like a caveman who thinks he can club women over the head and get away with it because that's just how he (t)rolls.
Of course the insult "neckbeard" is gendered, mainly because it's used as a shorthand for a certain type of male entitlement that tends to result in both subtly sexist and openly misogynistic attitudes and behaviors.
Even though I obviously agree with the artist that we shouldn't insult people on the basis of their sex, gender, body type, financial circumstances, or perceived deviance from neurotypical behaviors, there's way more to the word "neckbeard" than hating men because of their male bodies. Is "dudebro" problematic because it stigmatizes male homosocial friendship? Is "sad panda" problematic because it stigmatizes non-alpha male personalities? Is "mansplainer" problematic because it stigmatizes male intellectualism?
Using social justice terminology to ask people to stop using the gendered insult "neckbeard" without addressing the highly gendered behavior that results in men being called "neckbeards" in the first place feels like a rhetorical sleight of hand that only serves to make people who have suffered from online harassment feel guilty about using one of the only weapons in their paltry arsenal. Like any insult, the word "neckbeard" does in fact dehumanize men, but let's be real, sometimes a girl needs to create an emotional distance between herself and the people who for some reason think it's okay to attack her just because that's what you do on the internet.
I'm not saying it's okay to see a random person at a con and be like, "Hey look at that gross/fat/autistic neckbeard" – although this sounds like a strawman argument to me, who even does that? – but I refuse to perform the emotional labor necessary to view online trolls as unique and precious individuals who deserve my sympathy and forgiveness.
I mean, I don't know, it's complicated. I can understand the point the artist is trying to make, but I'm also speaking from a standpoint of intense bitterness because of full two decades of unfortunate experiences on the internet. I'm willing to be persuaded to stop using the word "neckbeard" to make myself and other women feel slightly better about having become the targets of a specific type of stereotypically antisocial behavior, but it's going to take more than this comic.
In conclusion, I guess, being a good person is hard. Social justice promises – and occasionally delivers – easy fixes, but the world is complicated, and navigating kyriarchies of privilege is never going to be as simple as acknowledging that different people occupy different positionalities.
no subject
Date: 2016-07-06 11:44 pm (UTC)*nods*
no subject
Date: 2016-07-07 02:10 am (UTC)and like - honestly, there are so many things men do and women just don't. Neckbeard behaviors are pretty much solidly in that wheelhouse. Not All Men, whatever, but if all (within statistical reasonability) neckbeards are men....
I, too, am unwilling to perform this emotional labor. not when men have emailed me threats for daring to not like FF7.
no subject
Date: 2016-07-07 06:58 pm (UTC)And yet. Writing a death threat to someone who says she doesn't like Final Fantasy VII? That is clearly the behavior of someone who needs to step away from the computer and go take a walk or something. I'm sorry that happened to you.
no subject
Date: 2016-07-08 12:00 am (UTC)