Cockblocked
Oct. 3rd, 2020 12:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingI’m totally stuck on the next chapter of my Zelda/Ganondorf fanfic Malice.
It’s a nsfw chapter, and fellas is it okay if I admit that I’m not particularly into the idea of Ganondorf’s dick? I don’t have anything against men as real people or as an abstract concept, but like. Can’t Ganondorf and Zelda just be really good friends? Can’t they just watch nature documentaries on Netflix and gossip while they braid each other’s hair? Does Ganondorf’s dick really have to be involved in their relationship?
I had this fantasy that I would finish rough drafts of the six remaining chapters of the story before editing and posting them, but I think I’m going to have to go back to using regularly scheduled posting dates as hard deadlines. I’m going to say that next Saturday is when I’ll post the next chapter, and then I’ll aim for posting a new chapter every two weeks until the stupid novel is finished.
The penultimate chapter is going to be another nsfw chapter, and I have no idea how to handle it. At this point I’m not above getting stupid drunk and typing every ridiculous stray thought I find amusing.
On a related topic, I get the feeling that I’ve started to use public posting as a crutch for getting things done. Which is fine, because I will take any support I can get, but I wonder how that’s going to translate into original novel writing. Would it make sense to post the first book of The Demon King on AO3, perhaps as a story that’s only visible to registered users? If nothing else, that would allow me to play with a mixed media format, alternating between the main story, illustrations, comics, Balthazar’s worldbuilding field notes, and writer’s notes (perhaps occasionally soliciting very specific feedback) in the form of endnotes.
It’s a nsfw chapter, and fellas is it okay if I admit that I’m not particularly into the idea of Ganondorf’s dick? I don’t have anything against men as real people or as an abstract concept, but like. Can’t Ganondorf and Zelda just be really good friends? Can’t they just watch nature documentaries on Netflix and gossip while they braid each other’s hair? Does Ganondorf’s dick really have to be involved in their relationship?
I had this fantasy that I would finish rough drafts of the six remaining chapters of the story before editing and posting them, but I think I’m going to have to go back to using regularly scheduled posting dates as hard deadlines. I’m going to say that next Saturday is when I’ll post the next chapter, and then I’ll aim for posting a new chapter every two weeks until the stupid novel is finished.
The penultimate chapter is going to be another nsfw chapter, and I have no idea how to handle it. At this point I’m not above getting stupid drunk and typing every ridiculous stray thought I find amusing.
On a related topic, I get the feeling that I’ve started to use public posting as a crutch for getting things done. Which is fine, because I will take any support I can get, but I wonder how that’s going to translate into original novel writing. Would it make sense to post the first book of The Demon King on AO3, perhaps as a story that’s only visible to registered users? If nothing else, that would allow me to play with a mixed media format, alternating between the main story, illustrations, comics, Balthazar’s worldbuilding field notes, and writer’s notes (perhaps occasionally soliciting very specific feedback) in the form of endnotes.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-03 05:18 pm (UTC)Honestly, I've seen a lot of people post original work to AO3 and have decent results. Off the top of my head, Mayakern has an ongoing queer smutty fantasy romance novel and felt it was the best place to showcase it. Then again, she has a sizeable following with her art, so I imagine that helps funnel in readers. I think if you have people who are into your writing - *points at self* - there's a good chance they're open to an original piece.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-04 06:05 pm (UTC)I am aware of and admire Maya Kern's AO3 novel and its gorgeous illustrations (which I think I actually learned about when you reblogged the announcement post earlier this year). Still...
I have to admit that it makes me a little nervous.
Like, I think about how the author is a talented and prolific artist, and how she joined Twitter at the exact perfect time in 2012, and how she was able to rise up in the indie art scene by exhibiting at Small Press Expo before the event became wildly popular, and how she leveraged Kickstarter and Patreon to publish her work when the sort of work she did was in high demand but still relatively rare, and how she now has tens of thousands of followers on both Twitter and Instagram...
...and I just get this sinking feeling in my stomach. Like, I was totally there! I was right in that place right at that time right alongside Maya Kern, but instead of following my dream to work on queer comics, I decided to stick with academia and channeled my energy into researching the cultural movement from an outside perspective so I could publish a book about queer comics, which ended up resulting in me being denied tenure. Now Maya Kern is an independent artist with a huge following supported by Patreon and book sales, and I'm... I don't even know what I'm doing with my life right now.
I'm not suggesting that I have Maya Kern's talent (at many things, including online social networking), and I could certainly never be as prolific as she is, but there was totally a right place and a right time, and I was totally right there, and I was totally aware of what was going on, and I totally didn't take advantage of it.
And I think about how much time and money and effort I put into fandom, thinking that it was just a hobby that I shouldn't take too seriously, and how this engagement, in fact, ultimately didn't go anywhere. I mean, I received an amazing level of support, but not the "31.9k followers on Twitter" level of support I would need to really be successful at an endeavor like this.
TL;DR: Creative writing is hard enough on its own, and I wish self-promotion weren't so necessary and such an uphill battle.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-12 11:50 am (UTC)I swear 2012 was such a pinnacle year for internet content in that it shaped the futures of a lot of people. And it's frustrating when I think back on stuff like that and can only feel that if I had more of my shit together, maybe I'd have even a fraction of that awesomeness. It's borderline nauseating what a Twitter following like that can do to promote your work. Quality and quantity are no longer a factor in terms of what you produce; hits and views mean so much more and I honestly hate it.
Self-promotion is a bag of dicks and I hate how it's mandatory these days for just about anything :\
no subject
Date: 2020-10-04 12:18 am (UTC)Yes, yes, no. You can always fade to black. There's plenty of smut out there, and I think for certain stories it's best to avoid adding smut to the equation. I certainly wouldn't add it if I didn't want to write it.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-04 06:09 pm (UTC)I think I may have gotten myself into an unfortunate situation this time around, though. Namely, I structured the story so that the world can only be saved by magical healing sex. Unfortunately, if I knew how world-healing sex worked, we'd all be in a much different place right now.
But maybe a "fade to black" at the right moment is justified. Just like how the monster you don't see is always scarier, the universe-altering sex you imagine in your mind might just be more magical.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-05 11:56 am (UTC)If it is magical universe-altering sex you could emphasize the metaphysical aspects and be vague on the physical mechanics.
Regardless, I believe in you. I believe in magic, amorphously-described dicks. You've got this.