Small Steps Forward
Jun. 16th, 2021 11:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynlingMan. This depression sure isn’t going away.
I’m trying to think about what would make me happy, and I just don’t know. The little things (like exercising, eating well, sleeping, and taking time to relax) aren’t making much of a difference, while the big things (like having a supportive family and close friends who live nearby) are completely out of my control. I’d also like to go to the ocean for two or three days, but… Animal Crossing is probably as close as I can get to that right now.
I think that, more than anything, I would still very much sell my soul to have talent. I understand that most of “talent” is nothing more than putting in the time, but I want to have enough talent that I enjoy putting in the time instead of hating myself every time I sit down to write or draw. I also want to have enough talent that I reach a minimum threshold of positive feedback so that I can feel motivated to start, polish, and finish projects instead of dreading the moment when I post or submit my work.
I guess what I want is to feel seen and heard and included, and to have the platform and energy to help other people feel seen and heard and included. And I’m just not sure how to make that happen.
Before anything, I’d like to wrap up a few remaining loose ends. For me right now, this means finishing Malice and commissioning someone to draw the one last comic I wrote for the Zelda fandom.
I’m trying to think about what would make me happy, and I just don’t know. The little things (like exercising, eating well, sleeping, and taking time to relax) aren’t making much of a difference, while the big things (like having a supportive family and close friends who live nearby) are completely out of my control. I’d also like to go to the ocean for two or three days, but… Animal Crossing is probably as close as I can get to that right now.
I think that, more than anything, I would still very much sell my soul to have talent. I understand that most of “talent” is nothing more than putting in the time, but I want to have enough talent that I enjoy putting in the time instead of hating myself every time I sit down to write or draw. I also want to have enough talent that I reach a minimum threshold of positive feedback so that I can feel motivated to start, polish, and finish projects instead of dreading the moment when I post or submit my work.
I guess what I want is to feel seen and heard and included, and to have the platform and energy to help other people feel seen and heard and included. And I’m just not sure how to make that happen.
Before anything, I’d like to wrap up a few remaining loose ends. For me right now, this means finishing Malice and commissioning someone to draw the one last comic I wrote for the Zelda fandom.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-16 06:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-06-16 06:46 pm (UTC)Writing and submitting original fiction is a singularly unpleasant experience! I don't think this is an excuse for people to be mean to one another, but I'm starting to understand why so many writers are so unpleasant on social media. Especially YA fiction and genre writers, who have to face an insane level of competition.
It's kind of a shame that no one covered any of this in any of the lit classes I took in college and grad school. I feel like I'm now seeing how hot dogs are made, and it's upsetting!