rynling: (Default)
Remember that time they made a Dark Souls themed cafe
https://twitter.com/ZullieTheWitch/status/1677850636006637569

Together, we will devour this 16-piece order of gods, now only $19.99 for a limited time.

Some of these dishes look legitimately interesting and tasty ngl. I'm especially keen on the "Roasted Mushroom People," not in the least because said Mushroom People absolutely wrecked my shit in Dark Souls 1.
rynling: (Cool Story Bro)
I’ve gotten much better at using the Ultrahand to rotate objects in space, but the shrine puzzles aren’t getting any easier.

The problem with the Ultrahand tool is that its attachments don’t consistently snap to a grid. Breath of the Wild was robust enough to allow multiple solutions to spatial puzzles; but, in Tears of the Kingdom, there is (almost) always only one solution, and this solution needs to be precise. When you understand what you need to do but the game insists that you can’t do it without being fussy, this can be maddening.

I’ve been going through two or three shrines a day, and every day I’ve encountered a simple puzzle that’s taken half an hour to complete. I’ll look at guides online that confirm I need to do exactly what I think I need to do, but attaching Thing A to Thing B to Thing C in exactly the right way at exactly the right angle requires a ridiculous degree of precision. In addition, it’s frustrating to lose time exiting and then re-entering a shrine when I make a mistake at the end of a sequence and all the puzzle pieces fall into a void.

Today I plan to do my first full dungeon, the Lightning Temple in Gerudo Desert. We’ll see how it goes.

The reason I’ve been focusing on completing shrines is to get more hearts. I want to spend more time exploring the underground area, an enormous full-dark Halloween playground filled with jumpscares. I think, if I weren't infested with Dark Souls brain fungus, I might be frustrated by how often you die in The Depths. But thankfully, to my Soulsborne-rotted mind, the puzzles implicit in The Depths (ie, try not to die) are much more satisfying than those presented by the shrines.
rynling: (Gator Strut)
I want to clarify a little:

Ender Lilies is a very gay game that includes very gay relationships and very gay gender presentations. This is not directly spelled out in rainbow-colored font, and I imagine that it might pass under the radar of people who... don't have a radar, I guess. As someone who hates rainbow capitalism flavored performative identity politics, I really appreciate that. It's not that the queerness of Ender Lilies is discrete, but rather that the game is not solely about LGBTQ+ Representation(tmtmtmtm).

What I'd like to write more about is why it's meaningful that you play as a girl, as well as how the transformation of the player-character relates to gender politics of purity and queer politics of solidarity. Obviously this is a Japanese game that isn't connected to American social movements, so I'm not trying to say that Ender Lilies is making a political statement, but I think it's remarkably well-crafted as a work of art that shines an interesting light on some of the more intriguing subtextual aspects of the Dark Souls series.

What I'm also reacting to is the delusion of people who think like this:
Elden Ring: Mohg May Be the Souls Series' Worst LGBT+ Representation
https://gamerant.com/elden-ring-mohg-dark-souls-bad-lgbt-representation-miquella-groomer-implication/

This is an unhinged interpretation of what's going on with these characters; and also, if you think Elden Ring has bad queer representation, let me tell you about Revolutionary Girl Utena lmao. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hate it that LGBTQ+ Representation(tmtmtmtm) has to be perfect and pure and garishly branded as such in order for mainstream cultural critics to even try to look beneath the surface of complicated stories with queer themes.
rynling: (Terra Branford)
Ender Lilies is a fantasy-themed 2D adventure-platformer with moderate elements of horror and a moderate level of difficulty. Unlike many modern Metroidvania games, there is nothing retro about the graphics. The backgrounds are gorgeous works of HD digital art filled with stunning details, and the characters and enemies are all beautifully animated. Both the combat and exploration are a lot of fun, and it’s a joy to move through this ruined world.

Read more... )

It’s easy to dismiss Ender Lilies as “2D anime Dark Souls for casuals” at a glance, but I ended up being genuinely moved by the story and characters. The visual imagery isn’t anywhere near as gory and explicit as Blasphemous, but the horror themes are expressed with creativity and style, and Ender Lilies is nothing if not atmospheric. In terms of gameplay, I think Ender Lilies may be a perfect Metroidvania. The game features various ease-of-life concessions that help make it more accessible without diminishing the thrill or challenge of the gameplay, and I think this intentional cleanness of design is an innovation to the genre in and of itself.

And finally, I appreciate how the spirits you currently have equipped hang out with you at save points. There’s really nothing I love more than the image of a cute girl sitting amongst weathered ruins surrounded by grotesque monsters as rain falls in the background. That’s the good stuff right there.
rynling: (Terra Branford)
Momodora: Reverie Under The Moonlight is a 2D fantasy Metroidvania with adorable 16-bit pixel graphics and an emphasis on cute magical girls. It has an Easy Mode that’s genuinely chill, and it took me about seven hours to get 100% completion. Momodora features a lot of nods to the Souls games in general and Bloodborne in particular, but I think a more accurate comparison (at least on Easy Mode) is Super Princess Peach.

I came to Momodora not knowing what to expect, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that it’s absolutely delightful. The game is relatively simple, but that’s okay, as it’s very good at what it does.

Read more... )

In conclusion, Momodora is a chill and beautiful Metroidvania style action-exploration game that’s like Bloodborne for people who want to enjoy the gothic story and atmosphere without having to spend dozens of hours slamming their head against a wall to git gud. Also, since almost every character and enemy is a super cute magical girl or sexy adult witch-demon, I guess you could say that Momodora is like Bloodborne for lesbians.

I mean, Bloodborne itself is very much “Bloodborne for lesbians,” but you get what I’m saying.
rynling: (Cool Story Bro)
Fairy Tale is excellent. I really enjoyed it.

Read more... )

Another nice thing about Fairy Tale is its illustrations. Damn I love when books have good art.
rynling: (Default)
Dark Souls Toilets
https://www.instagram.com/darksoulstoilet/

I'm sorry, and you're welcome.

None of these photos are gross, by the way. Just bizarre. You don't actually have to be familiar with the games to get the jokes, but there are some gems if you understand the references. "Elden Ring" indeed lmao.
rynling: (Cool Story Bro)
I’ve been enjoying listening to the Dark Souls podcast (this one right here), as the two hosts share my taste in horror and humor. They’re also respectful of real-world differences both in terms of how they talk about stories and how they treat actual people, which I appreciate. Just because you make dick jokes doesn’t mean you have to be gross.

I find the banter between the hosts and their guests to be a lot of fun and super relaxing to listen to when I’m working in Photoshop, and I also like learning about the stories of Dark Souls and Elden Ring, both of which cater to my niche interests but are unfortunately too difficult for me to play. (I mean, I’m trying! I’m just very bad and very slow.)

Anyway, I skipped ahead in the podcast to listen to their episode about the manga Berserk (here), and one of the hosts said something interesting about horror and how it works.

Content warning for discussion of Berserk, both spoilers and sexual violence.  )
rynling: (Cool Story Bro)
Peaches is currently undertaking a genocide run of Stormveil Castle, the first big "legacy dungeon" in Elden Ring.

To be clear, the only person being killed in Stormveil Castle is Peaches. But Peaches is dying a lot. Stormveil Castle is littered with dead Peaches.

Speaking of corpses, apparently the Misbegotten aren't the only cannibals in The Lands Between. They are most surely eating humans in Stormveil Castle too! The castle seems to be crumbling from an infestation of tree roots, and the mercenaries hired to guard the castle kind of have roots growing out of them too, I think. So tree-infested people living in a tree-infested castle are eating regular people, many of whom are hanging from meat hooks in a courtyard outside the castle kitchens. Neat!

Stormveil Castle is cool, but I wish Elden Ring weren't, you know... so intensely difficult and punishing. At a certain point I really don't think it adds anything to the game. Like, I think Castle Morne is fantastic, and I think the online consensus is that it's fantastic - it has an interesting level design, great environmental storytelling, good combat challenges, and good spatial navigation challenges. It's just a fantastic set piece all around, and a lot of fun to play. It's "hard," and you die a lot, but it's manageable. I understand the appeal of difficult gameplay, but the FromSoft games are really something else. If Castle Morne demonstrates anything, it's that not every one of these dungeons needs to be like this in order for people to enjoy them.
rynling: (Default)
Having rung the second Bell of Awakening in the spider swamp, Tulip was admitted through a massive gate into a place called Sen's Fortress. I don't know who Sen is, but their fortress is a hot mess filled with traps straight out of a Mario game. These traps include rolling boulders dropped by a giant and flaming boulders thrown by another giant. If you're feeling ambitious, you can actually make your way to the giants and attack them.

After killing his first giant, Tulip fell down some stairs and died.

This was especially embarrassing because it happened immediately after an NPC told Tulip that he would never make it through the fortress. That NPC was a dick, but damn if he wasn't correct.
rynling: (Terra Branford)
So it turns out the giant spider in the Blighttown poison swamp is actually...

...wait for it...

...a spider centaur! Her name is Chaos Witch Quelaag, and her human torso is totally naked, with her long hair modestly covering her nipples. This is much less sexy than it sounds. For all the love and attention the developers put into monsters and armor and architecture, the non-undead human character models are trash. It's kind of funny, actually, to see Resident Evil 1 style waxy-skinned mannequins amidst all the HD environmental detail.

Anyway, I defeated Quelaag with the help of Maneater Mildred, a naked lady running around the swamp with a giant meat cleaver and a burlap sack over her head. Quelaag spews lava from her spider mouth, and this killed Tulip multiple times. As you might imagine! Molten hot liquid rock did not bother Mildred, however, and she tanked that spider buck-ass naked.

Between the three of them, Tulip and Mildred and Quelaag are an entire pride flag, and I wish it were possible to advance in the game without having to kill Quelaag. Thankfully Quelaag has a cute sister who is also a spider centaur. I didn't even look at a walkthrough before pledging Tulip's life to her; that was a decision I made from my heart.
rynling: (Default)
With the help of a walkthrough, Tulip has made it through Blighttown. Good job, Tulip!

Blighttown is a vertically-oriented shantytown clinging to the lower reaches of the castle's outer walls. It's like people decided to live on the construction scaffolding instead of tearing it down, but maybe this wasn't the best idea. Everything is rickety and unstable, and the game managed to give me a genuine moment of vertigo the first time a plank bridge shifted under Tulip's feet.

Blighttown is also filled with giant mosquitos for some reason. It turns out this reason is that it's perched over a poisonous swamp. Hidetaka Miyazaki is famous for loving poisonous swamps, and I was disappointed that the swamps Tulip previously encountered had no poison. I am disappointed no more, and I hate it!

Anyway, the theme of the poisonous swamp is "spiders." According to the walkthrough, this evening I will have to fight a giant spider in her spiderweb lair. I'm one of those weird people who think spiders are kind of cute, so I'm looking forward to it.
rynling: (Default)
Tulip is taking a break from Lordran while I go to Toronto.

I was just saying to a friend on Twitter that Dark Souls has become the education about European art history that I always wanted. The architecture is so beautiful that I've been looking up the real-world references, and I've been learning a lot.

I have a fairly solid education in East Asian art history, and I love Japanese architecture so much it's unreal. What's cool about architecture in Japan is that, like... I'm not sure how to put this. So you know how, when you go to like a museum or a botanical garden, and they have a Japanese teahouse or something, they'll have cordons around it so that no one touches it? In Japan, it's the exact opposite. They'll be like, "This is the oldest and largest extant wooden building in the world, and it's built without a single metal nail, and it's still in active use, so come on and put your hands and feet all over it, also would you like to sit down on this thousand-year-old veranda and have some tea." The same thing goes for Japanese ceramics. You'll be casually having tea with someone, and they'll just randomly be like, "Oh yeah, that cup is four hundred years old." And the same goes for more recent architecture, where there will be a beautiful Victorian-style brick building from the Meiji period housing a café where you can get beer and pancakes.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that art history is more interesting if it's something you can touch for yourself. And for me, Dark Souls is exactly that sort of experience.
rynling: (Default)
Tulip has conquered the swamp! He gallantly defeated a giant water hydra that had no way of defending itself at close range, and he bravely shielded himself in a corner while a swamp witch defeated a giant moth.

Unfortunately, upon further research, I learned that both of these swamp areas are optional. Also, there is more swamp elsewhere. But that's okay! As I wrote earlier, it's a beautiful swamp.

Thankfully the swamp provides a shortcut to the next mandatory area of the game, which is called Blighttown. The concept of Blighttown is, "What if spiders and mosquitos and leeches, but large?"

Tulip's most heroic feat in Blighttown so far has been to stand at the top of a wall while shooting dogs corralled into a small enclosure at the bottom of the wall. In Tulip's defense, the dogs could breathe fire.
rynling: (Terra Branford)
Yesterday evening Tulip explored a swamp, where he was killed by:

- frogs,
- plants,
- tree lizards,
- a moth, and
- accidentally walking backwards off a cliff.

Tulip hasn’t made it out of the swamp yet, but that’s okay. It’s a beautiful swamp.
rynling: (Default)
Tulip has slain a mighty sewer dragon! Good job Tulip!

Specifically, this is the Gaping Dragon, which is introduced by a fantastic cinematic sequence. You see what you think is its head poke out of the water, but then the "head" is just the tip of its gigantic snout. It turns out that this thing is all teeth all the way down. The boss is enormous, and Tulip had to get stomped to death a few times before I figured out that you can just run around behind the dragon and smack its tail.

I found a good area for grinding for equipment upgrade materials afterwards, so Tulip's armor has become very pretty and shiny. I love how each upgrade to a piece of equipment ever so slightly changes its appearance. One upgrade doesn't make much difference, but cumulative upgrades are quite impressive over time. The level of detail is in this game is insane. I hope the people who made it are okay.

I also want to say that I really appreciate the cinematic sequences in Dark Souls. They are all very short but extremely effective. I don't dislike cinematic sequences in games, but I prefer when they're infrequent and not overly lengthy. I think Breath of the Wild handled its cinematic sequences really well, to be honest. Let it be known that Dark Souls has some good ones too.
rynling: (Gator Strut)
Tulip spent yesterday evening wandering around the sewers under the castle kitchens.

It turns out that the best equipment for Tulip to wear while slogging through rat-infested wastewater isn't his usual canvas pants with Link-from-Legend-of-Zelda boots, but rather tight black leggings with knee-high fashion boots, which grant a higher immunity to poison. Black leggings worn under tunic-style leather torso armor looks very 2008, and not in a good way. Tulip is a fashion disaster.

If I continue to follow the IGN walkthrough I've been consulting religiously, today Tulip will fight his first dragon. I've already been killed by two dragons elsewhere, and it was pretty much instant death in both cases. We'll see how this goes. Good luck Tulip!
rynling: (Cool Story Bro)
Tulip beat the Capra Demon! With magic.

The problem with the people writing guides for this game is that they're all very good at it. This means that none of the "strategies" they describe for beating the bosses work for someone like me, who is not good at anything.

The Capra Demon won't kill you in one hit, but he'll kill you with two. He's a double wielder, so if he gets in one hit he'll almost certainly get the second one as well. Instead of trying to block and roll and all that other nonsense, I realized that what I needed to do is stay the fuck away from him. So I bravely ran away and attacked him from a distance with magic. It took a while, but he eventually went down.

After taking the Capra Demon's key and using it to embark into the lower interior of the castle, Tulip then proceeded to fall down a hidden hole, where he was immediately killed and eaten by sewer lizards.

Apparently, the Capra Demon is just a normal enemy when you get deeper into the mountain under the castle. That means that this lone Capra Demon just wanted to live a quiet life in a quiet sunlit garden with his two dogs, and he probably kept the door to the castle kitchens locked so that nobody bothered him. I feel kind of bad for killing him tbh. But not too bad. Tulip has places to be!
rynling: (Cool Story Bro)
Tulip is currently spending a lot of time with someone called the Capra Demon.

The Capra Demon infamously functions as a gatekeeper who blocks the player's access to the majority of the game. It's impossible to beat him without knowing exactly what you're doing or getting help from real-life friends, and the game makes getting help difficult for complicated reasons I don't care to explain.

Read more... )

Anyway, I've scheduled some time this afternoon to sit down with Tulip and watch a few YouTube video walkthroughs. Apparently the game opens up a bit once you've gotten past the Capra Demon. I don't enjoy these boss fights, but I really love wandering around and enjoying the architecture.
rynling: (Cool Story Bro)
Some context: I am back on the Dark Souls diet. My Chosen Undead is the basic default male character. His name is Tulip. I would like to record Tulip's adventures because I am very bad at this game.

Today Tulip feel down some stairs and died.

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